Letter from the Editor: What I've learned during quarantine

Monday will mark 16 weeks of my husband Brian — who also works at the paper — and I working full-time from home during this quarantine. (oh, hush. It's been fine!) (REALLY. JUST FINE.)

Let me be clear right off the bat: I'm not all “yay, virus!” or anything, but let me tell you, I've learned a lot of useful things (and many more only-useful-to-me things) in the past four months.

Groceries

We went to the grocery store a lot. Like, a lot a lot. The checkers at a couple of stores know us by name. And also perhaps the bakery people (there's no perhaps about it, they do). But, until recently, running to the store whenever we ran out of spinach (or cookies, more likely) just wasn't an option. I've had a “medically adventurous” past couple of years, and my doctor gave me a list of precautions. That means Brian has to be careful, too, so he doesn't bring anything home (other than cookies). So we've had to (gasp!) plan ahead. It's not something either of us are traditionally great at. We are journalists and do our best work at the last minute (in fact, I'm writing this column with less than two hours until deadline! GO ME! It's like very boring breaking news!) When we moved the last time, within hours of when the movers were due, Brian was sorting through a college botany project he found buried somewhere (he graduated from college in 1997. This move was in 2010. I'm not sure how those leaves survived?) When it comes to planning, though, I'm worse.

So, groceries. You can imagine. We were going at least three or four times a week; now it was once every two weeks. YES. EVEN IF WE RAN OUT OF COOKIES. We figured it out, though. There were days when dinner was Triscuits and cheese or just a bowl of kale (lol, it was never kale). But we managed to figure out what the staples are, and what we need to keep around for emergencies (frozen pizza and grapes. Always frozen pizza and grapes) and, honestly, what we can live without (I'm looking at you, eleventy billion boxes of pasta and tofu hot dogs we're afraid eat! But keep buying?) Even now, when we can make more frequent trips — or at least Brian can — it's still once a week or less. And there's another heckin' pack of tofu hot dogs I'm afraid to eat. Why do I do this.

Corona-Hair

Oh, let's talk about hair: The pic of me on this column is from The Before Days. I'm not generally vain, but my current hair looks like it belongs on a cartoon witch because I haven't seen my stylist in so long. Brian was in that boat a lot sooner than I — his hair grows so, so fast. So sometime in May, he announces “I'm going to cut my hair. BRB.” I begged him not to — he has beautiful, thick, curly hair. I warned him about all the times I was upset about something in my 20s and cut my own bangs (take it from Melynda “I have an accidental wall of bangs” Shamie here, it never turns out well) He still got out his clippers and went ahead with it.

It actually turned out really well! He can cut his own hair and has now done it twice more since then. I originally had a picture here to show you how good he is at cutting his hair. But he was anti-that. “I hate that picture! Ugh!” he said. I think he may have also hinted he'd stop doing the dishes if I used it? I'm not sure, but I don't do dishes, so I'm not taking any chances. You'll just have to take my word for it: Brian can cut his own hair. But not well enough that I took him up on his offer to cut mine.

Online shopping

Here's the thing: You can only watch “Supernatural” so many times before you just don't care whether Sam and Dean find their dad or their mom or Cas or whatever is going on that week. There's reading, sure, and there's also (dramatic music) online shopping. I've never done much of it before, but not being able to actually get to stores? Man. I certainly did some during this time at home. (not a ridiculous amount. Just a ridiculous amount for ME) I won't bore you with the boring things I bought (mostly books and a pair of shoes that was a surprise! I didn't remember ordering them! And a fundraiser T-shirt for the Shedd Aquarium, because who can say no to Wellington?) But then there was my weirdest purchase: Nonmedical grade masks. But Mel, everybody has those! Oh, but wait. These are special. Or so I keep telling myself. I still can't believe I ordered them: It's a whole thing that involves me being a little claustrophobic in masks and good marketing by Rothy's (a shoe company) but basically I bought masks that cost $25 for two (!!!) but ended up being worth it because I can wear them. FIRST WORLD PROBLEM: SOLVED. (Rothy's are another thing I discovered during this quarantine. We won't discuss that here. Shhh.)

Bingeworthy TV: Why We Love Reese Witherspoon

As I mentioned, you can only watch “Supernatural” so many times before Sam's sudden Capt. Kirk-speak in the first half of this final season gets really irritating. Enter Reese Witherspoon. She saved us: “Morning Show” on Apple+; “Little Fires Everywhere” on Hulu and “Big Little Lies” on HBO. Plus her whole catalog: “Legally Blonde,” to start (“What, like it's hard?”) Also, just to come back to online shopping: I bought a dress from Draper James and read along with Reese's Book Club.

And Reese's Peanut Butter Cups have been my favorite candy. Which, I promise, is a coincidence and not part of a creepy pattern.

At this point, I'm sure a few of you may think I'm not taking any of this seriously. Let me assure you, again, that I am. Finding humor in scary situations (usually inappropriately — you know Mary Richards, in “Chuckles Bites the Dust?” 100% ME.) is what I do. If I don't laugh, I cry, right?

Stay well, friends.

• Melynda has worked at the Daily Herald for more than 20 years but isn't sure what day it is, because that's another quarantine lesson: Always have a calendar handy.