Summer should be a time for all sorts of learning
A cute 5-year-old voice explains: "I'm the best reader in my kindergarten class. My mom got me the (brand-name educational) program this summer and I love it."
Then the radio announcer chimes in: "It's not too late. Don't let the rest of the summer go to waste. Start your child on (brand-name educational program) today."
Education, or lack of it, will probably be one of the key factors in our children's ability to succeed (maybe even survive) in the 21st Century. Most parents I talk to are acutely aware of this.
We also are often more than a bit anxious that our schools just aren't doing enough to prepare our children for such a learning-intensive future.
All kinds of approaches and programs have been created to give children an extra advantage in the race toward educational excellence. We can read to children before they are born, recite vocabulary lists to our 4-month-old, enroll our toddlers in foreign language studies, teach our preschoolers to read before they even put one foot in the door of a school.
Educators - teachers, administrators, researchers, child psychologists - differ on whether such efforts are worthwhile. All agree that children benefit from a stimulating and challenging environment in which learning is interesting and exciting. Younger children can learn much more than we give them credit for.
On the other hand, children learn best at their own pace. Certain subjects can be mastered at certain developmental stages. Our mind, and our ability to learn, grow and change over time just like the rest of us.
Given a chance (the right environment, sufficient support and encouragement), children usually will demonstrate by their own interests what it is they are ready to learn.
As a family therapist, I also would add that there are a number of other important tasks that children must master in addition to those taught in school. Learning how to enter relationships, develop intimacy, work cooperatively, deal with conflict, balance both dependence and independence are all important to a child's eventual healthy adult functioning.
When we overemphasize our children's cognitive development, we too often do not allow time and space for their social and emotional development. A precocious reader easily can wind up "socially delayed" if we stress too much the mastering of such academic skills.
Certainly it is tempting to use the summer months to help our children get a head start in school. And some of our children will benefit from such extra education. We also need to allow for and encourage the sort of social learning which takes place in the family, the neighborhood, or play groups.
Ultimately, this sort of education will be just as important to our children's future well-being as "reading, writing, and arithmetic."
• Dr. Ken Potts is on the staff of Samaritan Counseling Center in Naperville and Downers Grove. He is the author of "Mix Don't Blend, A Guide to Dating, Engagement and Remarriage With Children."