Grammar Moses: Do your Facebook friends requires a plural verb?

Patrick Gerby shot a photo of a billboard in the Loop that rubs him the wrong way.

"Not sure if you've seen the mini-billboards downtown near corners and bus stops. Does the wording bother you?" he wrote. "It is part of the Facebook Make Nice campaign. Another one says 'False news is not your friends.' I walk by two of these on my way to work at the Clark-Adams building. It's driving me nuts."

Well, Patrick, Facebook's gaffe with Cambridge Analytica aside, I doubt Facebook or its creative team exhibited carelessness here. I think it's more a case of branding.

While "False news is not your friend" works grammatically, Facebook's commodity is your vast network of friends. I surmise that its use of the plural "friends" is an intentional play on that.

You'll tie yourself in knots trying to come up with an alternative that works grammatically. "False news are not your friends" is even worse.

So while it's grammatically challenged, it's done with a wink. And, hey, it has people talking. So I'll give it a pass for the sake of brand-building.

When, where, how?

This Rolling Meadows

parking ban sign seems to raise more questions than it answers, writes Bill Murray (once again, not that Bill Murray.)

"Does it mean that I'm not allowed to park on any of their streets for 8 continuous hours following a 1-inch snowfall? And, if yes, beginning when? Or maybe the snow has to accumulate for one inch over an 8 hr period before the prohibition becomes effective. In which case, how long does the parking ban last? And what about a 2-inch snowfall? Never mind. I'll just walk."

If there is a loophole, Bill will find it.

Headline writers and signmakers have difficult jobs. They're often robbed of the necessary space to include articles and punctuation that can make messages clearer.

In this case, I'd be satisfied if there were parentheses around "for 8-hour period."

However, I think a little rearranging of the furniture would do the trick without benefit of new punctuation: "No parking on streets for 8-hr period after 1-inch snowfall."

Once more

Bill also spotted a sign at a car wash that admonished "This Door Must Be Kept Closed At All Times."

"Is this is truly management's imperative, what's the point of having a door?"

My thoughts exactly. For what is a door that is never opened but a wall?

I'm starting to sound like Confucius.

Mea culpa

Several of you - in varying states of hysteria or euphoria - pointed out that I made a boo-boo in last Sunday's column, inserting an errant apostrophe in "Mike's brother's give him just as much grief for having bought an orange bike."

I was certain that someone down the line had screwed this up but found incontrovertible proof that I was the miscreant.

Don't be like me. Write carefully!

• Jim Baumann is vice president/managing editor of the Daily Herald. Write him at jbaumann@dailyherald.com. Put Grammar Moses in the subject line. You also can friend or follow Jim at facebook.com/baumannjim.