How military moms are supporting each other in Fox Valley
Worrying about your child is pretty much part of the job description for mothers, but having a child in the military comes with unique stresses and challenges.
The group Fox Valley Military Moms on a Mission formed a few months ago to offer support, guidance and "a shoulder to lean on," said one of its founders, Nancy Meany of South Elgin.
"We had the 'aha moment' that we were all in the same situation at the same time, and that we needed 'leaning time,'" said Meaney, whose 24-year-old son serves in the U.S. Army.
Though small - six members so far - the group has been very active since it formed in August, holding five collection drives of items to be sent to military members. The group donated four carloads' of toothbrushes, protein bars, eye drops, white socks, baby wipes, aspirin and more to Packages 4 Patriots in Elk Grove Village, which shipped them off.
The Fox Valley moms' group has lots of goals for 2018, including incorporating and starting the process to become a federal tax-exempt 501(c) 3 nonprofit, said Meaney, who also founded the nonprofit RunFurShelter in South Elgin.
The moms want to fundraise to help military members fly home for the holidays, which many can't afford to do, said Tamara Scaffidi of St. Charles. "Our military doesn't get free tickets and the airlines don't even give them a discount," she said. "It's just so wrong."
They also want to greet returning military members at the airport and with "welcome home" banners once they get home. They want to organize their own shipment of care packages, for which they hope someone will donate office space for storage and sorting of donations. The group, which is open to mothers who live in the Fox Valley area, also is considering morphing into a support group for all parents, including fathers.
Simply getting the news that your child is joining the military can be shocking, said Scaffidi, who didn't think that would happen "in a million years." Her 21-year-old daughter serves in the U.S. Marines.
"There is so much pride for your son or daughter to serve your country, but there is so much fear at the same time," she said. "There's so many things people don't understand. That's why having the support of other military families is so critical."
For example, military members generally don't come home for long stretches and have little control over their schedules, she said. Her daughter was denied leave for Christmas after being away for more than a year, though she made it home Dec. 28, she said.
Terri Lynn Johnson of Elgin is the "veteran mom" in the group whom newer moms turn to for support.
Her 39-year-old son, a major in the U.S. Army, has been on tours of duty in Bosnia, Afghanistan, Iraq and Africa. He's now stationed abroad.
When her son first left, Johnson said, she was too afraid to ask questions. She has since learned that supporting other moms is essential, she said. "Everybody is afraid. It's so scary because you don't know (what's going to happen)."
Anyone interested in joining can message the group's Facebook page Fox Valley Military Moms on a Mission, email foxvalleymilitarymomsonamission@aol.com or call Meaney at (224) 558-9080.