Last Kiss: Michael & Sue

I'm sure most people who have lost a spouse would say that they miss their life partner very, very much.

And while the saying goes, "time heals all wounds," there are just little things along the path of life that trickle in and remind one of those good times together as well as the somber reminder that the person you cherished so much is gone.

My life partner was very outgoing, considerate, compassionate, loving, caring and did whatever she could to extend a helping hand to those in the disabled community throughout her lifetime.

I became her primary caregiver for many years and without a doubt would do that all over again if I could have her back. She decided and willingly accepted going through the Journey Care Hospice Program so as to not burden me with her life-ending medical condition.

But at the end, she was not living the life that she would have wanted, and I know in talking with some of her caregivers that she definitely wanted me to move forward with my life after she died.

Participating in the weekly grief counseling meetings at the Journey Care Hospice Facility in Barrington helped me tremendously to work through and better understand what grief is.

Each individual had their own unique story to tell, which helped me express myself and discuss my loss openly.

On special dates and holidays, I bring out her "Memorial Board."

I also address and mail out a birthday, anniversary, Christmas and Easter card, and when I receive it a few days later, it brings both a tear and a smile to my face.

Michael A. Iwinski

Huntley

My eulogy to her:

March 26, 2016

Susan Lynn Iwinski is gone.

But that's not why we're here.

We're here to remember Sue as the force of nature for hope and joy.

We're here to remember her sheer effervescence, regardless of her circumstances, and her unwavering need to help others.

She was born into a childhood that would have taken lesser people. Hardship, struggle, and deprivation defined her life, leading into adolescence. Many people would have succumbed to the grind that she endured.

Not Sue.

Her positive attitude and will to survive would not break, and it eventually carried her away to the beginnings of a new life.

On a fateful Saturday in September, 1968, that new life began to take shape.

At the St. Clair Hotel in Chicago, she met Mike Iwinski - her "Prince Charming" as she put it, and after dating for a few years, they got married.

Mike would go on to become her best friend, greatest confidant, and eventually her primary caregiver. And 44 years later, they were still best friends … in her words "she was married to her boyfriend."

After getting married, her new life of prosperity continued. After working through a series of jobs, she landed at Motorola - a pretty good gig.

She realized what she had, and worked hard for the right people and on the right projects.

Over a relatively short time, she gained the respect, responsibility, and recognition that she craved after a life of having none. It was as she was working her way up that Motorola ladder that she finally met her match.

In 1979, she was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.

After a life of struggle, most people would crumble under such news. Not Sue.

She used it as fuel, almost intentionally defying it to stop her. While she continued her work at Motorola, she sought out support groups and exercise groups while she herself wrestled with the disease. Eventually she discovered what we would all come to know, and what would drive her for the rest of her life: the disease was her calling, even as it led to her passing.

The next 30 years saw a whirlwind of activity that most people would call "exhausting" or "unbelievable," and professional journalists have called "no less than a phenomenon."

Those who knew her called it "just Sue being Sue."

• She joined the Schaumburg Township Committee for Disabled Citizens, and became their co-chairwoman.

• She taught free exercise classes four times a week using newly-pioneered techniques specifically designed for the disabled.

• She served as a peer counselor for the newly diagnosed.

• She became president of the Schaumburg-Hoffman Lions Club, working closely in various community outreach efforts.

At the time it was said that "there are people who now have a future because of Sue Iwinski."

In 2006, Sue and Mike moved out to Del Webb Huntley.

Of course, Sue took the opportunity to reach a whole NEW community of people with her enthusiasm, humor, and enduring drive to help. Since then, she has either joined or started a number of clubs and organizations, and touched countless more lives. Even as recently as a year before her passing, she established an MS support group at Family Alliance, an organization dedicated to improving the lives of aging adults and their families.

Turns out she was defying the disease right up until the end.

Anyone who knew Sue knew that there were 3 words she couldn't stand:

• The word 'Can't': As she used to say "If you tell yourself you can't do something, you're setting yourself up for failure."

• "Snow." She hated driving in it.

• "Diet." As she said …"isn't that one self-explanatory?"

So today, let's not think about our loss, the giant hole in our hearts she leaves behind, or the difficulty she had.

Instead let's remember her endless positive attitude and will to never, ever complain no matter how hard things got, her perpetual "stick-to-itiveness," and that joyful goofiness that made her who she was every day.

I think we all know that's exactly what Sue would want.

Date of birth August 23, 1948

Date of Death March 5, 2016