Grammar Moses: Wheaton street signs and a man possessed

"Dear St. Grammarian," wrote Ted "Dictionary Man" Utchen of Wheaton, "Erastus Gary, Warren Wheaton and Jesse Wheaton were the three founders of Wheaton, and at the very beginning members of the Gary family had a saw mill. Now should the street sign for Garys Mill Road have had an apostrophe in it? That is, if they had built and owned that road, should a possessive case have been used? Or if the members of the Gary family owned that road, could 'Garys' just be considered as a word describing the road as Garys Mill Road, forgetting the concept of ownership? If you want me to, I can stop at that intersection, get out my black Sanford Sharpie and paint in an apostrophe so we will now have, forever, the sign reading, "Gary's Mill Road."

First, Ted, leave the sign alone. This column points to premeditation.

Second, I agree with you.

According to a 2014 story in The Guardian, the city council in Cambridge, England, had banned apostrophes in road signs for a time, saying it was following a national policy that claimed apostrophes could cause confusion among emergency services workers.

Given the amount of confusion I see about apostrophes, I don't doubt that's the case.

The ban in Cambridge prompted punctuation enthusiasts to do what Ted offered to do with his Sharpie.

After two years, the Cambridge council relented.

Perhaps, Ted, you should take your argument to the Winfield village board, which has authority over much of the incorporated stretch of Garys Mill Road.

You might get a friendly response, but I wouldn't bet the farm on it. I couldn't find a single case among Winfield's 145 street names in which there is an apostrophe.

Not even Bob O Link Drive, which you'd think would have one (even though the bird is spelled "bobolink.")

I'm not fond of ladders or lawbreaking, so I'm afraid I can't help you further.

Jargon alert

To all of my police friends out there: Displaying a handgun isn't a crime. You can exhibit it legally in a protective box above your fireplace. However, as Daily Herald courts reporter Lee Filas told me, "Showing it to a cashier at the 7-11 and saying, 'Give me all the money' is a crime."

Mea culpa

It's not often you run into a conjure/conger homophone problem, but we did so in a story about a cyber camp at College of DuPage.

Having done crossword puzzles roughly since first grade, I'd always thought "conger" rhymes with "conjure."

"Conger" is one of those words that is a lot more likely to be seen in a crossword than heard in conversation, and that certainly was the case with me.

I learned about the pronunciation when I looked up the word on merriam-webster.com, which usually has a handy pronunciation aid.

A "conger," with a hard "G" sound, is a big eel.

To "conjure," with a "J" sound, is to summon a spirit.

I learn something new every day and hope you do, too.

Write carefully!

• Jim Baumann is vice president/managing editor of the Daily Herald. Write him at jbau-mann@dailyherald.com. Put Grammar Moses in the subject line. You also can friend or follow Jim at facebook.com/baumannjim.