Grammar Moses: You need not travel far to find grammar issues
NEW YORK - My wife and I love to travel.
Much of the allure for me is seeing and experiencing new things and trying new foods, of course, but I've always enjoyed sampling new languages.
Rarely have I been so far off in my word choice or pronunciation that I asked for a bathroom and been shown something like the nearest tobacconist.
I can usually figure out the signs well enough, too, though I was a bit surprised at my lack of preparation when I pulled out of the parking lot at the airport in San Juan, Puerto Rico, and realized I didn't know Spanish for "east" and "west."
"Oeste" and "este" give me no clues.
It's when we travel domestically that I occasionally encounter signs that stop me in my tracks.
A few weeks ago we were in the Denver area, and I encountered a sign advertising "GUN SFAES."
Sure, you can say that people - even sign makers - can transpose a letter here or there. But in this case, each letter was distinct from the others - individual lighted box letters probably 2 feet tall - bolted to the side of a building along I-25.
Perhaps the installers did not have a diagram that read "GUN SAFES" taped to the side of the building so they knew where to put things.
Surgeons know the importance of drawing on which knee they intend to remove.
Last week, we visited New York and I shot the accompanying photo of a sign hanging outside a shop in TriBeCa. I assume this one has more to do with the sign maker's mastery of English than not seeing the forest for the trees.
While I didn't poke my head into this shop on Church Street, I assume it hawked magazines rather than "MAZINES."
But that's not all that is wrong with this sign. Can you find the other?
Yes, "lingerie" is an uncountable noun. Aerosmith vocalist Steven Tyler has many articles of lingerie, but collectively they are "lingerie."
Perhaps a better word would be "negligee."
A rock star can't have too many negligees, you know.
Twenty-some years ago when we were in London, we passed a candy shop and I took note of its spelling of "liquorice."
That is the proper spelling in the U.K., but in the States we spell it "licorice."
Well, not everywhere in the states.
I can't recall what city we were in, but I do recall seeing a handmade, phonetically spelled sign that advertised "lickerish."
It's not exactly the kind of thing that's good for business in a store that caters to kids.
"Lickerish" is an adjective meaning "lecherous."
If you see an interesting sign, send me a photo.
In the meantime, write carefully!
• Jim Baumann is vice president/managing editor of the Daily Herald. Write him at jbaumann@dailyherald.com. Put Grammar Moses in the subject line. You also can friend or follow Jim at facebook.com/baumannjim.