advertisement

Constable: Still time to find talent, pleasure once pressure is gone

Running has never run in my family. Outside of a mandatory 1-mile run during annual tryouts for the high school football team, I've enjoyed a lifetime of confining my runs to short bursts fueled by necessity, designed only to beat out an infield hit, catch a bus, or make it to my car during a downpour. My wife shares my philosophy. Our three sons showed no interest in running, outside of the rare jog during high school that seemed inspired more by a desire to leave the house than by the joy of running.

So my wife and I were in uncharted territory as we settled in to watch our 21-year-old son Ben run in Wisconsin's Door County Half Marathon this past weekend. Ben's interest in running is recent, inspired by his girlfriend, who is on her college track team, where she mostly runs hurdles and sprints. When Ben phoned us in November to tell us he ran a 10k in less than 45 minutes, my wife, his two brothers and I were stunned. When he completed Saturday's 13.1-mile race in 1:44:11, we were amazed and proud, but mostly just happy that Ben had a good time doing something he enjoys. Who knew?

Society tends to pigeonhole people, starting in childhood. We often push kids into categories that make it easy to define them. She's a smarty. He's an athlete. She's a beauty queen. He's the tall guy. She's the fat girl. He's a musician. She's the class clown. He's a nerd. She's a dancer. He's a weirdo. They are losers.

But there always is time to change that label.

My 90-year-old mom was a really good housewife and mother for decades. It wasn't until she became a senior citizen that she took up painting watercolors and joined a community band to play the drums, which she hadn't played since high school. My Uncle Spud operated heavy equipment for his career. When that was done, he discovered that he had this remarkable ability to create gorgeous bowls and vases as a woodworker artist.

We see examples of the changes in people of all ages if we look hard enough. I remember thinking that the daughter of friends was destined to be a basketball player because she was one of the tallest kids on her team in middle school. Then she discovered the stand-up bass. Now she is the musician in the family, and so good at that instrument, it's bound to influence her college choice.

I have several friends who developed an interest in photography later in life. Now, in their 50s, they fill Facebook with stunning portraits of birds, people, nature and architecture, exhibiting a talent I never dreamed they had. Another friend became a master gardener. One friend's son went to college with a rather generic interest in business and economics and took a part-time job at a restaurant. Now he's a chef, loving what he does for a living.

The suburbs are blessed with an abundance of great community colleges, four-year institutions and park districts that offer classes for adults. The key is taking that leap of faith.

As we watched Ben run his first half-marathon, we met a very nice woman who gave us directions and helped us figure out where to go to cheer on our son. Her husband didn't start running races until he was well into his 50s, and now, at 64, he's a veteran of the Door County Half Marathon.

Kids sometimes give up on sports, musical instruments or some other interest because they fear that they aren't good enough. As adults, we should be free of that pressure. You can take up running without dreaming of winning the Boston Marathon. You can take up a musical instrument without worrying about auditioning for a band or symphony. You can take an art class without fretting about winning awards.

My wife and I were inspired just seeing our son develop a talent for something he enjoys. I now want to do something that I never dreamed I could do. I'm not sure what that might be, but I know what it won't be. I'm still sore from that brisk walk through the forest from the 10-mile viewing point in time to see our son cross the finish line.

  While societal pressure sometimes compels people to give up activities early if they can't reap instant success, there is value in discovering you have a talent for something you enjoy. Groups such as the DuPage Symphony offer people a chance to develop an interest and have fun. Bev Horne/bhorne@dailyherald.com
Article Comments
Guidelines: Keep it civil and on topic; no profanity, vulgarity, slurs or personal attacks. People who harass others or joke about tragedies will be blocked. If a comment violates these standards or our terms of service, click the "flag" link in the lower-right corner of the comment box. To find our more, read our FAQ.