Carpentersville woman was selfless - in life, and in death
The kindness, selflessness and unshakable faith that loved ones say Melissa Thielen embodied throughout her life are perhaps most exemplified in her death.
The 37-year-old wife and mother from Carpentersville died Nov. 26 after an undetected brain aneurysm ruptured. Per Thielen's wishes, seven of her organs were donated to five recipients, and her tissue will help enhance dozens of other lives, according to the Gift of Hope Organ & Tissue Donor Network.
That's one piece of comfort family members are clinging to as they mourn Thielen's unexpected death.
"She was just the best wife anybody could ask for," said her husband and high school sweetheart, Joe Thielen. "She would give anybody the shirt off her back. She was everyone's crutch, everyone's therapist. She lifted everyone up and made them feel so much better about themselves.
"It's just really hard to process that she's gone."
Joe and Melissa met 20 years ago in a home economics class at Streamwood High School. Their relationship was "pretty much a storybook," he said, recalling their countless family vacations, outdoor adventures and all the time they spent with their 10-year-old daughter, Avery.
"That's why it's so hard right now. We were inseparable," Joe Thielen said. "She was the love of my life."
Thinking about his wife's organs going to other people seemed somewhat inconceivable to Joe, who said he and his daughter have had difficulty grasping the reality of losing her. But being an organ donor was something for which Melissa had always advocated, he said. It was a way she could continue giving after she was gone.
"Melissa's gift and her amazing family have created a legacy that will honor her memory forever," said Kevin Cmunt, Gift of Hope president and CEO. "Our hearts ache for their loss, but donation has rewritten the end of this tragic story."
As time goes on, the Thielen family will receive updates about the organ recipients whose lives Melissa saved or made better, said her sister-in-law, Sarah De Loncker.
In addition to spending time with family, Melissa ran 5Ks, loved to read and was an active member of Willow Creek Community Church, loved ones said. Her willingness to help others prompted her husband to start searching for places to volunteer, Joe Thielen said, "because I feel like that's what she would have wanted."
She also was a perfectionist and was the "hardest worker in the room," he said. She held a job at Person, an education company where she partnered with Maryville University in St. Louis to help with its online initiative, said Katherine Louthan, the institution's executive director of the School of Adult and Online Education.
"Even in the short time we worked together, Melissa really embraced the institutional values of putting students first and helping them be successful," Louthan said. "She was an advocate for that and had a positive impact on everyone who worked with her. She's one of those people you can't help but love."
The outpouring of support the Thielen family has received since Melissa's death has been humbling, Joe Thielen said, pointing to the large crowd of friends, relatives and co-workers who attended her funeral.
Through her work in higher education, a full scholarship was set up for Melissa's daughter at Maryville. Additionally, De Loncker set up a GoFundMe page that raised more than $19,000 in eight days.
"No amount of money is going to bring Melissa back. No amount of money is going to take away the pain," De Loncker said. "But it definitely provides a level of comfort (for the Thielens)."
In addition to her husband and daughter, Melissa is survived by her three sisters, Stacy, Ayala and Elizabeth; her brother, Shai; her father, Emery; her stepmother, Peggy; and several nieces, nephews and in-laws.