Tips for dealing with poor managers

Two research studies that recently came across my desk seem to suggest some of our business managers still "just don't get it."

A poll of corporate executives uncovered a surprising number who claim their philosophy of management includes the use of a good deal of authoritarianism, intimidation, threat, passive aggressiveness and outright punishment.

They believe that such an approach - grounded in discomfort and fear - is the best way to motivate employees to perform more effectively, efficiently and productively. And they are not shy about publicly stating their beliefs. Some seem almost proud.

Yet another study - this time of people in white collar and service jobs - took a look at what management approaches employees believe motivate them best.

Not too surprisingly, they mentioned things like shared decision making, mutual respect, open communication, constructive conflict management, and clear expectations and rewards.

We might write off this second study to wishful thinking, expect that there already exists a significant body of research that demonstrates that when such an approach is tried effectiveness, efficiency, and productivity do, in fact, increase.

Now, most managers know about such research. And they have read books and taken classes on positive employee motivation. So what's happening here?

I think a lot of it has to do with fear. Not the employees' fear, however, but the managers' fear.

As a counselor and consultant, I've had a chance over the past few years to hear a number of manager types confess just how scared they really are. Even senior executives are more than a bit anxious about the future of the companies they head, the welfare of their employees, even their own jobs.

And middle-level managers know that when it comes to cost cutting and downsizing, their jobs are almost always the first to go.

All in all, it has been a long time since so many people felt so insecure.

Managers do what everybody else does when they feel frightened. They start to act out their fear. They forget everything they have learned about good management and instead ask too much, control too much, force too much. And they too often do so with a good deal of impatience, anger, and sometimes downright meanness.

Of course, if we are on the receiving end of such a management style, it is a bit hard to muster much sympathy for our beleaguered bosses. Yet there are a few things we can do to deal with their loss of managerial self-control.

1. With some bosses, we can explain the overall effect of their style and how it produces the opposite of what they intend. A short memo detailing our thoughts followed by a private conversation is one way to do this.

2. A smile and a "sure boss" may work with those managers who are generally pretty good but just letting off steam now and then. We can also gently tell them later if they got too out of hand.

3. I have known some aggressive managers who only listen to someone who is as aggressive as they are. They respect the employee who stands up to them.

This type is pretty rare, though. They are just as likely to state their appreciation for your assertiveness to your face and then stick a pink slip in your next pay envelope.

4. Some managers have made such a habit out of "management by bullying," and are so resistant to change, that our only recourse is to either learn to live with them, or learn to live without the job.

5. Sometimes we may be able to go to our boss's boss to talk about our feelings; if we do so, we need to carefully follow company protocol for such complaints.

As long as managers feel insecure in their jobs, they will probably wind up making us feel insecure in ours. If we can find a way to live with their craziness, fine. But if we start going crazy ourselves, it may just be time to start looking for another job. No job, even in this economy, is worth our own mental health.

• Dr. Ken Potts is on the staff of Samaritan Counseling Center in Naperville and Downers Grove. He is the author of "Mix Don't Blend, A Guide to Dating, Engagement and Remarriage With Children."