Quote & Unquote: A look at the best lines from a wild 2016
Good morning!
Yes, I'm back. For one day.
Where did the year go?
I celebrated my 80th birthday with relative ease in June, and my grandson Mark started college in September. Those significant events certainly helped make 2016 a memorable year.
When I retired in 2008 after 50 milestone years with the Daily Herald, I retired from writing, or so I thought. The creative juices just seemed to be at the finish line after years in front of a typewriter (what's that?) or computer.
However, there was this one exception. I wanted to continue my adventure over 12 months of looking for sports quotes that would serve as a holiday present to Daily Herald readers. We all need something to smile about in our very challenging world.
This annual column then developed into a labor of love that I didn't want to see abandoned.
The challenging part always is deciding what stays and what goes among all the quotes I saved over the year and deposited in a desk drawer. I brought them all out recently, read them again and made my final selections.
Of course, I will miss some you might remember in 2016. Cut me a little slack. I can't spot everything over 12 months.
So sit back, relax and see if family and friends agree with your favorites in this latest collection. While they are not listed in my order of preference, I naturally have to start with a few associated with the amazing Cubs story for 2016.
The envelope, please.
Pat Hughes, Cubs radio announcer, during the World Series championship rally at Grant Park: “Did anybody go to work today? Did anybody go to school today? No worries, because your teachers and bosses are all here, too.”
Anthony Rizzo, first baseman, looking out on the sea of people in Cubs attire at the rally: “It happened, baby. It happened.”
Tom Ricketts, team chairman and co-owner: “How long has it been since the Cubs have won the World Series? The answer is zero years.”
Theo Epstein, architect of the championship team: “Let's be honest - for a while there, we forgot the 'not' in 'Try not to suck.'”
Kyle Schwarber, who missed most of the regular season with a knee injury before returning to star in the playoffs: “I love you guys. Let's do it again next year!”
Rich Ball, son of Mabel Ball, a 108-year-old Northbrook resident and Cubs fan who died just six days after the team captured its second World Series title in her lifetime: “It ain't funny, but it's funny.”
Elizabeth Sullivan, 105-year-old baseball fan, when asked for her secret to longevity after throwing out the first pitch at Globe Life Park, where the Texas Rangers were hosting the Seattle Mariners: “I drink three Dr Peppers a day, starting at breakfast.”
Gregg Popovich, San Antonio Spurs basketball coach, on the retirement of his superstar Tim Duncan: “He made livings for hundreds of us and never said a word, just came to work every day. You never saw Timmy beating his chest as if he was the first human being to dunk the basketball. He's not pointing to the sky. He's not glamming to the cameras. He just plays and we've seen it so long it's almost mundane. But it's so special and has to be remembered.”
Jim Harbaugh, Michigan football coach, on his team's health in late October: “We had some sickly youngsters last week. We've got to build some immune systems - more push-ups, more whole milk.”
Harbaugh, on joining a high school chain gang during Michigan's bye week: “They needed a guy and promised me a trip-tip sandwich at halftime. That was all I needed to hear.”
Urban Meyer, Ohio State football coach, after his cellphone rang during a news conference after the Michigan game: “That was my wife. I just said all right and bye. She said to get a gallon of milk on the way home.”
Meyer, after signing defensive end Nick Bosa, whose brother Joey was a Buckeye all-American: “There's a standing offer to the Bosa family if they want to have more children.”
Meyer, on recruiting Sam Hubbard: “I watched him play dodgeball, pretty good player, and said, 'Let's get him to camp.'”
Chris Ash, Rutgers football coach, after his team's 39-0 loss to Penn State: “Look at the statistics. We're not even one-dimensional.”
Steve Pikiell, Rutgers men's basketball coach, when asked if he was bothered that the school approached Rhode Island's Danny Hurley first: “I was my wife's second choice, too.”
Michael Onwenu, Michigan's 375-pound freshman lineman, when asked what he was trying to eat during the season to keep his weight down: “I like grapes.”
Richard Pitino, Minnesota basketball coach, after the Gophers beat Maryland 68-63 to win for the first time in 14 Big Ten games: “I can start going inside at Starbucks again instead of just going through the drive-through.”
Fred Glass, Indiana athletic director, after the resignation of football coach Kevin Wilson: “I understand that the philosophical differences may be an unsatisfying meal full of empty calories.”
Dan Dakich, former Indiana player and coach, on Bob Knight's refusal to return for the milestone anniversary of his undefeated national champions: “The fact he couldn't come back for those guys makes him an incredibly small human being. I have never seen in my life a more self-interested, self-involved display.”
Tom Izzo, Michigan State basketball coach, on why his team may again wear the neon lime-green uniforms it debuted with a 74-65 win over Maryland although some alumni balked: “I like 17-year-olds more than 80-year-olds.”
Mark Dantonio, Michigan State football coach, when asked if he recently caught up with his former player, Washington quarterback Kirk Cousins: “I haven't really talked to anybody. I do talk to my wife on occasion.”
Taurean Prince, Baylor senior forward, on how the taller Bears were outrebounded by Yale 35-32 in a 79-75 first-round upset in the NCAA tournament: “You go up and grab the ball off the rim and you come down with it. That's considered a rebound, and they got more of those than we did.”
Steve Kerr, Golden State Warriors coach, on the difference between superstar Steph Curry and Kerr's former Bulls teammate Michael Jordan: “Michael intimidated players just by walking on the court. Fans too. Steph walks on the floor, and people are like, 'How old is he? 13?”
Bronson Koenig, Wisconsin guard, after his 3-pointer at the buzzer beat Xavier in the NCAA tournament: “I just channeled my inner Steph Curry there.”
Jarrod Uthoff, Iowa forward, when talking to the media after scoring his 1,000th point: “It doesn't mean anything to me. I hope that helps your quotes.”
Andrew Shafis, Prospect High School senior quarterback, on handing off to sophomore brother Michael on three straight plays against Hinsdale South: “My mom liked that.”
Jeffery Vlk, football coach at Buffalo Grove, on quarterback Connor Adams after a game with Niles West: “The kid can't even drive yet, and he's in charge of our offense.”
Ritchie McKay, Liberty basketball coach, after watching Indiana build up a 32-point lead in the first half: “The game seemed like it lasted four days. I can't remember the start.”
Peyton Manning, legendary quarterback, after his official retirement from the NFL: “I can't run as good as I used to or pass as good, but I've always had good timing.”
Brent Musburger, 77-year-old sports announcer who signed a multiyear deal with ESPN: “I would be a terrible retiree. I keep shredding those letters I get from AARP.”
Jimmy Butler of the Bulls, after getting an elbow to the face from Toronto's Demarre Carroll: “He messed up my swagger a little bit. I can't go out on a date for a while.”
Mark Teixeira, during a bad hitting streak with the Yankees: “I'm the kind of player that can carry a team for a while. I just haven't done it yet.”
Dave Hoffmans, trainer of Melatonin, the 18-1 shot that won the Santa Anita Handicap: “We're celebrating at San Manuel Casino. To hell with Disneyland.”
John Scott, Coyotes enforcer, on being voted into the NHL All-Star Game: “I think it's more of a joke than anything.”
Rick Sutcliffe, former pitcher and now a baseball analyst, told sportscaster Dan Patrick that Cubs broadcaster Harry Caray could be detrimental to the team's health: “We called it the Harry Caray Flu. You go out with him the night before and wake up feeling like crap.”
Dale Earnhardt Jr., NASCAR driver, explaining the ease - but hopefully not the value - of his decision to donate his brain to concussion researchers: “It was a no-brainer for me.”
Richard Sherman, Seattle Seahawks defensive back, on why he doesn't want to watch “Concussion,” the 2015 film starring Will Smith: “I see a concussion movie every Sunday.”
Jack Nicklaus, golf legend, talking about the surprising trend of young PGA tour players visiting him in search of tips: “How many 22-year-olds ask anybody for advice?”
Peter Dawson, head of the International Golf Federation, talking about the eight top 25 world-ranked players who pulled out of the Olympics, citing the Zika virus: “I take great heart from the fact we haven't lost a greenskeeper yet.”
Phil Mickelson, pro golfer, joking with a volunteer during the first round of the Memorial Open, after one of his drives hit the man in the head and bounced into the opposite rough: “If your head was softer, I'd be in the fairway.”
Nick Faldo, TV golf analyst, commenting on Brooks Koepka's opening drive at the Ryder Cup, which came to rest against a stand of portable lavatories: “He can take relief over there.”
Did you smile? Mission accomplished if you did.
It's nice to be back in the Daily Herald for one day. Hopefully, we'll meet again a year from now.
See you at the high school games. Support our young athletes.
Happy New Year!
robertfrisk@comcast.net