Grammar Moses: Writing reflexively on 'I' versus 'me' confusion

My work is not done, folks.

It's clear that not all of the billion or so English speakers in the world have caught on to this column — or had not done so by the time I first discussed the topic of “I” versus “me” in August 2015.

That's because people still screw it up in ways that boggle the mind. Even people with whom I converse on a daily basis, some of whom are paid to know better.

“I have to admit that I have not read every single one of your articles, so forgive me if you have already written one on this subject,” Mary Beth Maggio of Schaumburg wrote to me, confirming my hypothesis. “I am a retired English teacher and have noticed that the use of ‘me' and ‘I' is botched more and more. It is misused not just by junior high kids but by television personalities as well as newscasters. It absolutely makes me crazy when I hear it, and I find myself correcting people as I talk to the TV.”

Mary Beth and I have similar relationships with our television sets. Just ask my beleaguered wife.

It's not just that people use “I” when they should use “me,” but that they use “myself” interchangeably with both words.

“I” is a subject.

“Me” is an object.

Here are examples of proper usage:

Bob and I drove to the auto parts store. (I did something.)

Bob drove me to the auto parts store. (Something was done to me.)

If you have trouble with this, leave Bob out of the equation.

Would you ever say, “Me went to the store.”?

I find the confusion between “him” and “he” and “her” and “she” to be even more commonplace.

Tell me you haven't heard someone in the past 30 days tell you, “Me and her are XXX.”

Talk about a double dose of bad grammar.

So, when does one use “myself”?

“Myself” is a reflexive pronoun. “I” is the subject and “myself” is the object.

“I see myself in my son” means you see yourself reflected in your son. Get it?

Other reflexive pronouns are himself, herself, themselves. When you employ a reflexive pronoun, the subject always is the same thing as the object.

I commented last year that I thought this I/me confusion was borne of false modesty.

Colleen Thomas, once an editorial writer and the standard-bearer for the Daily Herald's stylebook and now who I assume is an amazing teacher in Bloomingdale, had this to say on Facebook: “You are so right about why people avoid using ‘me.' It's almost a false humility. A similar problem I've seen might be a case of overcorrection: Kids were told to use ‘Johnny and I' when they would say ‘Me and Johnny are going to the store,' so now as adults they use ‘I' even in the objective case.”

In the same vein

While listening to a news report on the radio last week I heard someone say this in support of a tax on sugary drinks: “I, myself, personally lost 40 pounds” after quitting.

OK, we get it. YOU lost 40 pounds. That's quite an accomplishment, unless you divide it into three, as the man quoted did.

Earworm

Life isn't easy when you spend your days dreaming of grammar lessons. Especially when you love music as I do.

I thought I'd share with you a song that has burrowed its way into my secondary auditory cortex so that you can enjoy it, too.

It comes from a George Harrison song on “Let It Be.”

The lyric starts out:

All through the day,

I me mine, I me mine, I me mine.

All through the night.

I me mine, I me mine, I me mine.

Enjoy that for a while.

Cubs coda

Here is a good-natured attempt for me to get in on the Cubs hysteria — in a grammar column.

Are you a Cub fan or a Cubs fan?

Harry Caray was a Cub Fan Bud Man, thanks to Budweiser.

My sister, Jenny, was a huge Cubs fan. She would race home from middle school every day the Cubs were playing at home to catch the last few innings. She knew the stats of everyone on the team.

Her daughter, Maddie, on the other hand, is not a baseball fan.

If I had to guess, though, she would be a Cub fan, and the single Cub she would be enthralled by is Kris Bryant.

If you're a fan of a player, you're a Cub fan. If you're a fan of the team, you're a Cubs fan.

And if you're a White Sox fan, I'm afraid you're out of luck — in more ways than one.

Write carefully!

• Jim Baumann is vice president/managing editor of the Daily Herald. Write him at jbaumann@dailyherald.com. Put Grammar Moses in the subject line. You also can friend or follow Jim at facebook.com/baumannjim.