How little moments show our true character

I run into the doughnut shop to grab a cup of coffee. Two guys are in front of me in line.

A kid behind the counter asks the first guy what he wants, then turns and walks into the back. First Guy gives an audible sigh of frustration, mutters something like "Oh, come on …"

Another kid behind the counter makes eye contact with the second guy in line and asks for his order. Second Guy nods toward First Guy and offers "Think he was first."

"That's OK," responds the counter kid, "we've got his order."

Second Guy shrugs. "I'll take a large with cream."

"Hey! Why don't you just wait your turn!" barks First Guy.

"Huh? Sorry. I thought they got your order." Second Guy is obviously a bit startled.

"Just wait your turn," First Guy turns his back.

Standing third in line, I have a ringside seat for this exchange. I can almost see Second Guy talking himself out of a confrontation. Then, to add to the tension, both servers come up to the counter with these two men's orders.

Final act in this little drama. As they pay, Second Guy turns to First Guy and says, with a smile, "Sounds like your day is getting off to a rough start. Hope it gets better."

First Guy, with as much disdain as he can muster, shoots back, "Oh, just get the (expletive) out of here!"

Shaking his head, a rueful expression playing across his face, Second Guy does just that.

I'm watching all this and wondering how it is going to play out. There are certainly a couple of times when I wouldn't be surprised to see somebody take a swing. As it is, I watch as First Guy peels out of the parking lot, almost sideswiping another car in the process.

Here's a trick question: Who do you think acted the most maturely, who showed the most character, between these two guys? Or, maybe to put it another way, who would you rather spend some time with?

Not hard to answer either of these questions, is it?

I'm sure First Guy sped out of there feeling pretty proud of himself. Nobody was going to muscle in on him. Couldn't push him around, no sir. He was a tough guy.

I also suspect he bullied and blustered his way through any number of situations that day and left a trail of bruised and battered people in his wake. Not exactly someone you would pick for a co-worker, friend, husband or father, I'm afraid.

Second Guy, despite his strategic retreat, showed more than a bit of grace under pressure. We wind up liking him though we don't really know him.

There is a truth here for all of us to consider. The quality and attractiveness of our character does not so much show itself in the major challenges or encounters in our lives. Who we really are is actually most apparent in those day-to-day encounters with life in all its routine ordinariness.

Even if we are just ordering a cup of coffee.

• Dr. Ken Potts is on the staff of Samaritan Counseling Center in Naperville and Downers Grove. He is the author of "Mix Don't Blend, A Guide to Dating, Engagement and Remarriage With Children."