Mourn loss of a pet as a family

Recently, while trying to accept the loss of one of my own felines, I found myself asking the question, "If we as adults have such a hard time coping with the loss of an animal, how in the world do we explain to children that it is all right to be sad?"

I found the answer in a paperback, cartoon-type of publication titled "They're Part of the Family, Barklay and Eve Talk to Children About Pet Loss," authored and illustrated by Karen L. Carney.

This publication is number eight in a series of publications that help children get through different experiences in life that may be difficult. The advise this little book offers can also help grown-ups cope with pet loss easier.

The dogs that interact in the book are the author's own. The book begins with the introduction and premise that "we can get through anything with the love and support of family and friends." The book is interactive with pictures for children to color, games and a series of questions to begin the healing process.

Then it gets to the big question, "Do you know what it means when your pet dies?"

"Their eyes don't see, their ears don't hear, their heart does not beat ... Their lungs don't breath ... They don't feel any pain ... They don't feel anything at all."

The book goes on to explain about the spirit leaving the body and about the spirit gong to "a safe place called heaven." This experience is analogized to a butterfly leaving its cocoon.

What really impressed me was that the book makes the distinction between death and sleep. Death is permanent and their is no waking, as when a person sleeps.

The book continues on with three animal stories on death and how each family shares happy memories, scrapbooks together and decides where the final resting place will be.

This book is presented in real terms children can understand and feel good about. My only disappointment is the feline story because the pet is killed by a car. "What was it doing outside?" It is explained away by an accident.

Overall I would still say the book is a good find. Remember, inside only for Buddy's felines. This policy keeps your feline safe from physical harm and diseases.

I have an additional suggestion regarding the loss of a pet if you decide as a family that cremation is the solution to the loss. Involve your child in the process of picking the urn. There are hundreds online, some of which are breed and color specific to elegant cherry or rosewood engraved boxes.

Some local funeral homes are also beginning to understand the significance of a loss of a pet as a family member and offer a small selection of urns.

You can further memorialize your pet in The Buddy Foundation walkway in the entry path to the shelter. Your pet will be forever memorialized in our walkway and you are assisting Buddy help more homeless animals with your brick purchase. I can't imagine a more honorable tribute for your beloved pet.

Support Buddy

Help support The Buddy Foundation by attending Bowling for Buddy from 1:30-5 p.m. Sunday, Nov. 6, at Arlington Lanes, 3435 N. Kennicott Ave., in Arlington Heights. Tickets are $30 for adults in advance and $35 at the door; children ages 12 and younger are $15.

Your ticket includes two games of bowling, shoe rental, pizza, salad, dessert and a soda. There will also be a special raffle for a 32-inch Samsung LED TV. For tickets or information, visit www.TheBuddyFoundation.org or call (847) 290-5806.

Featured felines:

• Joy is a beautiful, brown, female tabby with green eyes. One look and you will want to cuddle with her. She is shy at first, but she loves humans. She just wants to be loved. Won't you come visit Joy?

• Prancie is a gray and white female. She, along with several other kittens, was found by a court reporter. When she first arrived, she was not the most friendly of kittens. She spent a couple of months in our cat condos before she moved into one of the kitten rooms.

She slowly became more outgoing and friendly and has graduated to our adult cat room. At first she would hide on top of the condo tower just under the shelves. She now spends a fair amount of time on the cat tree watching the birds.

If you approach her slowly she will enjoy a good pet and may even take treats from your hand. Give this girl a chance and she just might be the one you are looking to take home.

• The Buddy Foundation, 65 W. Seegers Road, Arlington Heights, is a nonprofit (501c3), all volunteer, no-kill animal shelter. For information, call (847) 290-5806 or visit www.thebuddyfoundation.org.