Parents remember daughter who died after years in coma

BLOOMINGTON, Ind. (AP) - In the days after her death, the Facebook posts kept coming.

"For my group of college friends, she was, in many ways, our center, a force of gravity that held us together, no matter how far we traveled, what distant city we moved to, or how much time had passed," one person wrote.

Another mentioned a note of encouragement she wrote on the eve of choir tryouts. She was credited with teaching people to see the best in others, mentoring a college rugby teammate and providing a sense of security as a residence hall assistant.

Scrolling through page after page, Gordon Hershey estimated 500 people had written about his daughter's love, generosity and ability to bring people together. The posts show the kind of person she was. The person Gordon Hershey and his wife, Joan, knew before their daughter's accident seven years ago.

On Aug. 13, 2009, Alice Austra Hershey was bicycling to meet a friend when she was hit by a black Cadillac Escalade. She was crossing a giant intersection in Philadelphia, John F. Kennedy Boulevard at 17th Street, Joan Hershey said, struggling to recount the details of the event. Gordon Hershey points out the driver had a green light, and Joan Hershey concedes he had the right of way.

"She was in a hurry to meet a friend," Joan Hershey said. "She always tried to do too much."

Alice Hershey was active even as a baby, her mother said. In middle school, she did gymnastics. At Bloomington High School South, she was in the orchestra and theater productions. She played softball with Girls Inc., but above all, she loved people and parties. In fifth grade, she coordinated a goodbye party at the end of her summer camp. Her parents' birthdays are four days apart, so when they were turning 50, she planned a surprise to celebrate 100 years of living.

"She loved introducing people and getting them together," Joan Hershey said.

Alice Hershey was co-valedictorian of her senior class and was accepted to Harvard, but turned it down to attend Swarthmore College in Philadelphia. She graduated with a degree in psychology and after a stint working in residence life at Bowdoin College, she returned to Philadelphia and took a job doing quantitative analysis for People Metrics Inc. She would eventually leave that job to do community outreach for the Philadelphia Fringe Arts Festival, for half the pay, no less.

On a trip home to Bloomington for the funeral of her high school math teacher, Greg Mongold, she had a conversation with her mother about death. Joan Hershey told her daughter, should she ever become incapacitated, she wouldn't want to linger on in that condition. Just disconnect everything, she said. Then, she asked Alice Hershey how she felt.

"She couldn't answer," Joan Hershey said. "We never knew. She was only 29."

That was Fourth of July weekend. A month later, when the Escalade hit her, she landed on her head. She suffered no broken bones, just a small cut above her eye, but despite wearing a helmet, the force of the impact left her unconscious.

A doctor called Joan Hershey in the middle of the night, saying if they performed a craniotomy, she might live. Seven years later, she regrets her decision.

"I wish the doctor had said there was no way to save her," Joan Hershey said. "Alice was gone then."

But she wasn't. At least, not completely.

When Joan and Gordon Hershey got to the hospital in Philadelphia, the waiting room was filled with their daughter's friends. There were so many, hospital employees eventually said some people would have to leave, so her friends organized a schedule. They brought food for her parents, gave them rides to and from the airport as Joan and Gordon Hershey took turns traveling back and forth from Bloomington to Philadelphia for nine months.

There were signs of progress during that time, especially when she was at Bryn Mawr Rehab Hospital, but eventually, insurance would no longer pay for her to stay at the top-notch facility. They took her back to Indiana, and she spent three years at a nursing home in Bedford, followed by three years at Indiana University Health Bloomington Hospital.

Her parents hung on to whatever hope there was. Two blinks to say "I love you." Tears when a snowstorm kept a friend from visiting her. Joan Hershey questions whether that was a coincidence, drops of moisture arbitrarily running down her face, but Gordon Hershey is sure it wasn't.

"No, dear, it's hard to call that a coincidence," he said.

As time went on, her condition only worsened. She suffered regular seizures. In the last year, even Gordon Hershey, who in 2009 told The Herald-Times that it wasn't if but when she would recover, began to concede that the daughter he knew was never coming back.

When things got so bad a doctor suggested intubation, her parents decided enough was enough.

Alice Hershey died July 28. Gordon Hershey said, in some ways, he feels a sense of relief, but his wife doesn't.

"I'm glad she's not in pain, but relief?" Joan Hershey said. "I don't think that's the right word. Words sound empty to me."

A memorial service was planned at Trinity Episcopal Church, but last week, Alice Hershey's parents were struggling to figure out what to do with the people coming in for it. A party is what made sense to Gordon Hershey. It's what his daughter would want. He can imagine her putting it together. She would tell him it's not a party, rather a get together, for people to reminisce. But his party planner isn't here anymore. All that's left is heartbreak.

"It's by no means over," he said. "It's just difficult."

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Source: The (Bloomington) Herald-Times, http://bit.ly/2b6kYua

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Information from: The Herald Times, http://www.heraldtimesonline.com