When the director is a friend, and a drinker

Q: I serve on the board of a charitable organization run by volunteers except for one paid, part-time director. For some time, I've been aware that the director, a close friend, struggles with a severe drinking problem. This has involved a secret, unsuccessful three-week stint at rehab, during which the director dialed into meetings and attempted to discharge duties remotely. That was followed by months of apparent sobriety and daily attendance at AA meetings, all of which turned out to be more deception.

To date, this issue hasn't noticeably affected the director's performance, so I haven't disclosed what I know to the rest of the board. But two recent developments are giving me pause:

1. The director's spouse recently discovered empty alcohol bottles in the director's private office.

2. I have been asked to serve as the board's vice chair and to eventually take over as chair.

Now I am torn between respecting my friend's privacy and meeting my fiduciary responsibility to the organization. Part of me thinks I should insist that the director come clean with the board, or I will.

A: Your fiduciary duty, according to employment attorney Amy Epstein Gluck of FisherBroyles, is "paramount." Details may vary depending on your contract and state laws, but generally, you are legally obligated by your position of trust - and possibly your board's conflict-of-interest bylaws - to warn the organization of issues that could put it at risk. You can give your friend the "come clean" option - but be ready to follow through on "or I will."

I realize that sounds cold. But, counterintuitive as it seems, protecting the organization may also be the best thing you can do for your friend.

As an advocate for the organization, you're in a position to make sure management avoids committing defamation or discrimination. You can remind the rest of the board that recovering addicts are generally protected by the Americans With Disabilities Act - and even if the ADA doesn't cover your small entity, it might be safer to proceed as though it does. You can also push for bringing in an independent HR or legal consultant.

I understand why you've held off, but you can no longer pretend your friend can or will resolve this issue alone. And remember, you have a third obligation: to yourself.

You owe it to yourself to avoid the legal repercussions of violating your fiduciary duty. You owe it to yourself to not get trapped in the rubble when your friend's high-functioning facade collapses.

And you can help yourself by getting some guidance. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (samhsa.gov) or the National Institute of Mental Health (nimh.nih.gov) can help you discover how best to support - not enable - your friend and colleague.

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Ask Karla Miller about your work dramas and traumas by emailing wpmagazine@washpost.com.