Let's talk about children and mental health

We worry about our children, that's a given, but as a parent, how do you separate the general angst we all feel from the concern over possibly serious situations?

Colds, flu, pink eye - physical health certainly cause us concern, but usually we know what to do, and once the problem is taken care of, things are back to "normal."

What about when it comes to mental (behavioral, emotional) health? Even kids as young as age 3 can experience and express emotional health issues. Certainly as kids get older, the stressors in their lives increase.

Is your child having trouble at school? Not sleeping well? Struggling with eating issues? Been the victim of or engaging in bullying? Experienced the loss of a family member or friend? At what point do you realize there's something significant to worry about, and that your child may need more help than you can provide?

"My biggest rule of thumb is a question to ask: Is a behavior disrupting my child's normal routine? Are school, social life, bedtime, social life affected," asked Jennifer Stenzel, a licensed clinical professional counselor and executive director of Stenzel Clinical Services, which has offices in Naperville, Geneva and Wheaton.

"If the answer is no, then I'd say observe a bit more and wait. But if yes, better safe than sorry. Bring your child in for an evaluation. Nip it in the bud and prevent future problems," she said.

Mental health is a medical issue

The mental health of our children is an important aspect of their social and cognitive development. Whether a child is struggling with behavioral issues related to a specific event, or experiencing mental illness, behavioral health concerns are medical issues. Unfortunately, fear, peer pressure, lack of support or social stigmas might prevent us from seeking help. But just as with physical conditions that call for medical attention, behavioral health problems also need to be addressed.

Where should you start if you feel your child needs help? The two resources you can turn to first are your child's pediatrician or, if school age, the child's teacher or the school's support staff. These are people who can explore the concern further, and can make referrals, if needed.

When it comes to behavior health, how do we, as parents, determine what is healthy? Why would a child, even as young as 3 to 5 years old, need therapy? Divorce, the death of a family member, phobias, anxieties, bullying and many other issues affect even the youngest members of our families.

For parents, behavioral or mental health issues can sometimes be even scarier than physical health issues, as they may seem harder to understand and more challenging to treat.

"If a child or adolescent is growing and thriving emotionally, physically and socially, then that is normal. If they're stuck or not thriving, then it's time to seek help," Stenzel said.

In her practice, Stenzel has found that the possible social stigma associated with behavioral health conditions isn't a factor in families because parents want the best for their kids, so they're more inclined to ask for help. But she does encourage parents to be proactive if there's a concern about their child's emotional, physical or social behaviors and development, to avoid future problems.

Types of therapy

Play therapy, which includes art therapy, games, books, sand tray play and more, is utilized by therapists at Stenzel's clinics in the diagnosis and treatment of children's mental health.

Stengel Clinical Services even offers pet therapy with Tali, a 5-year-old Shepherd-Lab mix. Tali assists in many therapies. She calms clients' nerves, provides safe physical touch, reduces stress and blood pressure and more. She's especially popular among the children and teens who come to the clinic.

"Even if kids have a phobia of dogs, we can use Tali for desensitization therapy, to lessen the fear," said Stenzel. "She is wonderful with children who have experienced trauma, and with teens who may be resistant to therapy," as Tali helps to start conversations and put clients at ease.

Stenzel's clinic offers family counseling for children, adolescents, teenagers and parents, as well as therapies for specific issues such as grief, anxiety and more.

For parents who have concerns, Stenzel said it is "important for parents to know we want to work with them in a partnership, with time for individual and time for family therapy. We really partner with the parents and the child. We welcome family involvement."