Imrem: If Trump cheats at golf, will that get him votes?

When registered golf addicts can't play golf, they sit around pondering golf.

Like Tuesday morning, as showers drenched local courses throughout the Chicago area.

Instead of being miserable counting strokes, I pressed my nose against the window and counted raindrops.

“Now that Bartolo Colon has hit a home run,” I wondered, “is a hole-in-one next on his bucket list?”

More to the point of today's theme, “If Donald Trump really does cheat at golf, will it win or lose votes for him in the general election?”

Cheating in golf is as American as lying in politics.

Don't we all know people who wouldn't dare cheat on their spouses or on their taxes but feel free to kick a ball out of the woods?

Despite the sport reputedly being “a gentleman's game,” my scientific research confirms suspicions that cheating in golf is taboo only if someone else does it.

Seriously, golfers fudge on their scores as much as sports writers fudge on their expense accounts.

You don't think so?

Then why are words like foot wedge and sandbag sprinkled throughout the golf dictionary?

Not to mention my personal favorites, mulligan and gimme. If not for them, I'd still be playing the round I started last week.

Evidence is mounting that Donald Trump is one of the most prolific golf cheats in the history of golf cheats.

The latest to accuse Trump of indiscretions on the course is Oscar De La Hoya.

According to published reports, the former boxing champion wasn't laughing about Trump's, uh … let's call them methods.

“It shows something about his character,” De La Hoya is quoted as saying.

Of course, De La Hoya had his own agenda: promoting last weekend's bout between Canelo Alvarez and Amir Khan.

The fighters represent demographic groups, Mexicans and Muslims, that feel disrespected by Trump.

De La Hoya reportedly said he played with The Donald at Trump National Golf Club in Los Angeles and trouble began when Trump hit three or four wayward tee shots on one hole:

“Donald, what he does is he tees off first … and (then) what do we see but Donald Trump right in the middle of the fairway. He said, ‘Hey, look, I found my first ball.'”

De La Hoya's outrage over Trump's golf strategy could be dismissed as a marketing grudge if not for previous allegations.

Like, the actor/comedian Anthony Anderson was quoted on Gawker as claiming, “I'm not going to say Trump cheats … His caddie cheats for him.”

A reader comment beneath the Gawker piece stated of Trump, “Honestly, even if he didn't play golf, he would probably still be able to find a way to cheat at golf.”

Trump denies De La Hoya's claims, sort of like a pro wrestler throwing his hands up toward the referee in a “not me” pose.

“Not only didn't I cheat, I didn't play with him,” The Associated Press quoted Trump as saying. “I have never played a round of golf with this guy.”

The question now is why Donald Trump wouldn't embrace the role of golf cheater and profess to be the best in the world at it like he claims to be the best in the world at everything else.

After all, golf addicts who cheat comprise an enormous voting bloc in America.

Many of them might even make it to the polls if it's raining on election day.

mimrem@dailyherald.com