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Tax code-approved head of household pests?

Gregor Samsa, waking from uneasy dreams, and finding himself transformed into a monstrous vermin, could not have felt more disgusted than I did upon finishing my 2015 tax return.

From the single figurative dollar that my wife and I earned last year, government bit off 31 cents. That's about right, isn't it? Government's share of GDP is around 33 percent, up from 17 percent in 1948, meaning that politicians and their bureaucrats and sycophants today do one-third of all the spending in the United States.

And we see the results of that profligacy: dysfunctional politics, unsustainable entitlements, and the incessant cry for the rich to pay their "fair share" so that the middle-class may get free college tuition, free health care, and a free ride to Bernie's commune.

I'm just an hourly worker, hardly rich. I pay $30,000 in income, payroll, property and sales taxes. This is a financial injury I suffer annually, like allergies. Add to that the insult of getting nothing in return but "free" advice from politicians and pundits, and you'll understand my distress. How did I, in my own bed, turn into a free lunch for bloodsuckers? Forty-five percent of Americans don't pay income tax. Why didn't I get in that line at the naturalization ceremony?

Awake, I turn on the TV set, and find a culture obsessed with trivialities. Nothing is said of the pre-eminent fact of American life: that while we are not all government workers, every one of us most assuredly works for the government. Under my bed, cockroaches are scurrying, sensing my presence. Where does the vermin end, and the EPA begin?

Is being a vermin a pre-existential condition under Obamacare?

Would I, as a vermin, qualify as head of household pests under the tax code?

I'm Gregor Samsa, and I approved this message.

Alexander Lee

West Chicago

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