Assault survivor has message for athletes, fans

Hardly a day goes by anymore without a story about sexual assault in sports, be it at the professional, college or high school level.

And the all-too-common response from the team involved is to circle the wagons.

Teams know that 98 percent of sexual assaults go unpunished, so if they hire powerful attorneys, go to war publicly and shame the victim to the point where the woman must leave her town, family and job because of harassment, it's a good bet their player will never see the inside of the courtroom.

Perhaps most disconcerting is the lack of compassion they show for the victim.

“Sports seem to expose the worst of a victim-blaming society, where they ask, 'What did she do to deserve it?' It's the survivor's fault and the perpetrator is not held accountable,” says Angela Rose, a survivor and now an advocate. “The college arena is a great example of that.”

When it comes to domestic violence in so many different forms, the measured response of most teams is to back the player, retreat to the bunker and wait for the storm to pass.

Rather than make a statement about how wrong it is, teams merely further the notion that consent is whatever a man says it is.

So while they play their games and turn a profit, a sexual assault is committed every 100 seconds in the United States, and every nine seconds a woman is beaten or killed by her husband or boyfriend.

Those who have the power, money and pulpit from which to preach, instead ignore the pleas, but there are still so many who devote their lives to helping.

One such organization is “PAVE,” whose mission is Promoting Awareness and Victim Empowerment. PAVE was founded by Rose, an Oak Park native and herself a victim of sexual assault and kidnapping at the age of 17.

“We have to train athletes to be leaders on campus, to get involved, and that's where peer-to-peer mentoring and coach-to-player mentoring is so crucial,” Rose said. “This is where language matters, and respect with how you speak matters.

“But the dollar is very powerful in pro sports and on college campuses, where they don't want the bad press, so they don't want it reported.

“Parents need to know, too, that if you see higher numbers on a campus, it means victims feel safe to report. If you see zero sexual assaults, that's a red flag.”

As for education and support, PAVE is holding a benefit concert starring Wheeling's Haley Reinhart on April 30 at Durty Nellie's in Palatine to raise money for PAVE and Erin's Law that work to prevent sexual assault and help survivors heal.

That same day there's an Empowerment Summit, and you can find information on both at betterbenefitconcert.com and empowermentsummits.com.

“There's no shame in being a survivor, and living a healthy life is very possible after trauma,” Rose said. “But the best way to prevent it is to start the conversation younger, and we need more educational tools in K-12.”

The Empowerment Summit “will provide tangible tips to help cultivate healing following trauma, as well as strategies to manage stress and make lifestyle changes to increase overall” well-being.

“It's crucial that we raise awareness of how widespread sexual assault is,” Rose said. “One in four girls and one in six boys is assaulted, according to the CDC, but so many survivors don't feel like they can come forward.

“When I was 17, I wasn't believed by the detective and nothing was done on my case the night I was kidnapped. Finally, with pressure they took it seriously and found out the man was on parole for murder. First responders need training, too.”

Survivors need help, and organizations like PAVE need resources, thus the summit and concert in Palatine on April 30.

If you were looking for group support, or a way to help, that's a pretty good way to start right there.

brozner@dailyherald.com

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