Postpartum depression: How a partner can help

• Understand the experience as an illness: A mother with postpartum depression might feel "irritated, angry and even jealous" of the normalcy her partner appears to have, said Aimee Danielson, founder and director of the Women's Mental Health Program at MedStar Georgetown University Hospital and an assistant professor of psychiatry. Marital conflict is common. "Husbands feel they are at fault, or their wives try to blame them when they are not at fault. Understand this is an illness and these are a set of symptoms."

• Help her get more sleep: "There isn't enough therapy or medication to get (a new mother) well without consolidated blocks of sleep," Danielson said. Partners can step in and help with night feeds to give the woman a longer stretch of uninterrupted sleep. "We recommend that women try and get a four-hour block of sleep combined with two two-hour blocks of sleep: one at night, one during the day," she said. For families with more financial resources, Danielson recommends hiring a night nurse.

• Help find treatment: Danielson recommends that partners help set up appointments and even come along for support. "The partner can join in the therapy appointment and discuss ways to be supportive, or he can keep the baby in the waiting room so the baby is nearby, but the wife still gets that protected space with the therapist." In some extreme cases, Danielson recommends the partner step in and call the doctor on the mother's behalf.

• Be supportive: "The number one way a dad can support his partner is to educate (himself) and be aware of what is going on," Danielson said. With a better understanding, a (partner) can provide emotional support through listening and validating "rather than going at this as a problem that he needs to fix," she said.

For additional reading, Danielson recommends "The Postpartum Husband: Practical Solutions for Living With Postpartum Depression" by Karen R. Kleiman and "This Isn't What I Expected: Overcoming Postpartum Depression" by Kleiman and Valerie Davis Raskin.

For help, visit the Postpartum Support International website at postpartum.net.