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Constable: Giving thanks for family's transition from boys to men

Twenty years ago, my wife, Cheryl, and I had the best Thanksgiving ever. She served up our twin sons, Ross and Ben, and I got teary-eyed passing around that good news to loved ones. We repeated that joyous tradition in spring 1999, when we added our third son, Will, to the family. For every Thanksgiving since that one when we became parents, I've written a column asking for your indulgence as I give thanks for some of our family moments in the year since last Thanksgiving.

This year, we are thankful for:

• The challenge of redefining our new parenthood after four years of using “parents of three teenage boys,” and our rejection of the phrase “parents of two-and-a-half men.”

• My family's tolerance as I cower in the distance while my wife shoots the accompanying photo of our three sons horsing around on the cliffs at Rattlesnake Ridge during our family vacation to Seattle. And for the way they listen to my horrifying stories of tragic accidents at that spot and do not plunge to their deaths.

• Saxophonist Will coming home from a fantastic school band trip to Italy with wonderful memories, stunning photographs, a broader appreciation of the world and a gift request for his 16th birthday present. And how relieved we are to discover all he wants is an electric towel warmer.

• Being able to watch the live stream on our television as Ben performs a beautiful English horn solo with the Lawrence University symphonic band, and having the freedom to applaud when we want to, not when the piece is finished.

• Ross's first car — a 2005 Hyundai Sante Fe — and his efforts to keep it insured and running.

• The hope that my flaws as a father don't carry as much impact on sons who drive and shave.

• How Will's appreciation for being a captain, leading scorer and MVP of his junior varsity soccer team only makes him work harder for the chance to make the varsity next fall.

• The passion Ben commits to making a computerized musical-recording device for his innovations class, and how the box with wires looks way more like a bomb than that Texas kid's homemade clock did.

• The maturity Ross shows after his apartment deal falls through two weeks before his CalArts classes start. And how he stays cool when the replacement apartment deal he finds falls through the day before he's supposed to sign the lease. And how, after that deal collapses, he negotiates a third apartment deal two days before classes start.

• Will earning bragging rights as the best driver in the family by virtue of his perfect score on the driving test for his license.

• How Tuesday night's car ride bringing Ben from Appleton, Wisconsin, gives us our best father-son chat of the year.

• The way people who hire Ross for film projects always end up paying him more than they agreed to, and are happy to do it.

• Will's patience, kindness and even a hint of excitement during my ramblings about how the Cubs were going to win the World Series.

• The way my wife and I are fascinated but clueless as Ben fills us in on coding, electrical circuitry, oboe sonatas and quantum physics.

• The way Ross makes time to phone home from college in California just to let us know he's happy.

• Sitting in a kayak in Puget Sound watching our three sons paddle in perfect harmony.

• How adult Ross, Ben and Will seem on that vacation, until the moment when they sprint to the rental car and wrestle in the street to see who gets stuck sitting in the middle seat.

• How much my wife and I enjoy learning about filmmaker Kahlil Joseph, physicist Richard Feynman and soccer star Lionel Messi during real conversations with the young men who used to be our little boys.

• College financial aid help from Grandma Lois, and my sisters' gracious understanding in that.

• Trips to see Grandma Jean and Grandpa Paul, and the chance to drive antique cars with clutches.

• How our sons like to spend time with grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins.

• How everyone's memories of Grandpa Willy and Uncle Bill always make me so grateful that they remember.

• Those nights when we seem to be hemorrhaging money, bills need paying, dishes need washing, the house needs cleaning, everybody needs to be somewhere, the car's making a funny noise, my wife and I both need to work on the family laptop, and my beautiful wife somehow manages to stay up late to make cookies in time for birthdays, which makes the rest of us realize how lucky we are.

As our family celebrates today, we hope you and yours can compose a similar list for which to give thanks.

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The Constable boys in 2009: Ross, left, Ben, right, and Will. Courtesy of Cheryl terHorst
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