Grammar Moses: Yes, kids care about grammar and punctuation

I recently was invited to participate in a Google Hangout with one of John Blomquist's eighth-grade language arts classes at Dundee Middle School in West Dundee.

If you don't know what that is — and I admit it was my first — it's similar to Skype or FaceTime.

I sat in my office, staring at my iPad, while my giant head appeared on a screen in the classroom, much like the Great and Powerful Oz.

Little did the pupils know that I was just pulling levers and belching smoke, worried that they might pepper me with questions to which I had no answers and that I'd have to turn to one of my many wonderful reference books.

That wouldn't have been a bad thing in retrospect. Showing kids that there is no shame in doing one's research would have been a bonus lesson.

The kids were kind enough to throw me softballs but followed up with some more interesting questions.

Here is a sampling:

• Claudia Mazurkiewicz asked, “When should you use affect and when should you use effect?”

I can't believe I haven't tackled this one yet.

“Affect” is almost always a verb, meaning to influence something.

Though there is an obscure usage in psychiatry to describe an emotional state.

How will my performance on this affect my grade, Mr. Blomquist?

“Effect” is almost always a noun, meaning result.

What would the effect on my grade be, Mr. Blomquist, if I were to blow off your pop quiz?”

But “effect” also can be a verb, though its usage is less common. It means to create or bring about. Often, you'll hear it paired with “change.”

Gov. Rauner ran on a promise that he would effect widespread change in the way the state is run.

• Mercedes Mathis asked, “What is a comma splice?” Riya Patel took it a step further by asking when it's appropriate to use one.

Grammar guru Bryan A. Garner in his “Garner's Modern American Usage” distinguishes between a run-on sentence, or a “fused” sentence, and a run-together sentence or “comma splice.”

“With a comma splice, two independent clauses have merely a comma between them ... without a conjunction.”

I couldn't turn in my American Lit. homework, my dog ate my paper.

That is a comma splice. You have two clauses that can stand on their own as sentences, so a comma isn't enough. You should apply a semicolon or a period.

So, when is a comma splice OK? When the two independent clauses are very short and there is no chance for misinterpretation.

I like Kris Bryant, he's cute.

• Natalle Riggins wants to know when to use to, too and two. “I know that ‘two' is a number, but I don't know about the other ones,” she wrote.

It's easiest to remember that “two” is a number, “too” means also and “to” is, well, a lot more complicated. Generally, “to” is a preposition meaning in the direction of, but it also can be an adverb. Here's a shortcut: Remember the two easy ones and you're in good shape.

Sydney Calcagno asked, “How do you double-check your writing?”

It's better to have some privacy, Sydney, because the best way to edit yourself is to speak what you've written. Sometimes you need to hear clunky language to recognize it.

Sean O'Rourke, the young man who helped to rope me into this class “visit” asked, “When is an Oxford comma not necessary?”

Sorry, Sean, I see that I'm running out of space in this column. And the answer is somewhere between “You never need an Oxford comma” and “Always.”

I'll tackle that one down the road. I know you never miss a column.

Thanks for all of your questions, guys. And for the lovely card. Class dismissed.

Write carefully!

• Jim Baumann is assistant vice president/managing editor of the Daily Herald. Write him at jbaumann@dailyherald.com. Put Grammar Moses in the subject line. You also can friend or follow Jim at facebook.com/baumannjim.