Big siblings have big responsibilities

"Thataway bro!"

I wasn't paying all that much attention to goings on at my granddaughter's soccer match, only glancing away from my conversation with her mother now and then to watch her racing up and down the field and occasionally take a kick at the ball (or an opposing player). The verbal high-five that erupted from a chair nearby, however, was hard to ignore.

He was about 18, maybe even a young 20. He was wearing the appropriate uniform: longish hair, scruffy beard, sandals, chinos, T-shirt advertising an upscale beer. He looked like your typical college student home for the summer, sent over by his parents to pick up his younger sib.

The object of his affirmation was the pint-size soccer player who had used a break in play on an adjoining field to come over to the sideline. I couldn't help but overhear their conversation. And what really touched me was the genuine interest shown by the older brother in his younger brother's activities that morning.

He wanted to know how things had gone, what new moves he'd learned, what he liked best. He seemed in no hurry; he was perfectly content sitting their giving his sibling his undivided attention.

As you'd expect, the younger boy was thrilled by all this. Here was his big brother - certainly all grown up and a man of the world from the perspective of a 6- or 7-year-old - paying attention to him.

My mind flashed back to a conversation I'd had once with my younger brother. Much to my surprise, he was able to relate in great detail occasions more than 35 years ago when I'd spent time with him. Somewhat to my chagrin, though, I had some vague recollection of these events, they obviously had not been as memorable to me as they were to him.

We older siblings sometimes forget, or perhaps have never realized, just how important we have been in the lives of our younger brothers and sisters. We are trail blazers for them along the paths of growing up.

And they will choose their own paths partly in response to how successfully they see us traveling ours. We are role models, in their eyes representing what it means to be a young man or young woman. The way we treat them teaches them about how they should treat friends and acquaintances. The love we show them - or don't show them - impacts significantly on their sense of worth.

I doubt the young adult next to me could have put into words what he was doing or why it was so special. And I do give his parents a good deal of credit, for I suspect they were primarily responsible for teaching him to care for his younger brother that way.

Mostly, though, I'm grateful to him. He reminded me just how important it is for me as a big brother to let my own sisters and brother know how much I care for them. He also reminded me how important it is for me as a parent to teach my children to do so for each other as well.

• Dr. Ken Potts is on the staff of Samaritan Counseling Center in Naperville and Downers Grove. He is the author of "Mix Don't Blend, A Guide to Dating, Engagement and Remarriage With Children."