Smashed cucumbers worth the challenge
Last month The New York Times trumpeted the explosion of smashed cucumbers (the English call them “smacked”) on restaurant menus all over the city. The Times' smashed cucumber pictures show they're truly smashed (or smacked); their roughed-up surfaces make these not-so-pretty cucumbers special, though. Here's why.
Sliced cucumbers have fairly hard surfaces that make absorbing dressing nearly impossible. A smashed cucumber's roughened surface helps almost any liquid drizzled over them cling. Smashing also alters the cucumber's texture and mouth feel.
A side benefit: smashing cucumbers can easily release mature seeds.
The New York Times' smashed cucumber recipes all direct the maker to “place a piece of cucumber (or several) cut side down. Lay the blade of a large knife flat on top the cucumber and smash down lightly with your other hand.”
Seemed easy enough. I tried it. It's not.
Here's what happened. I laid the flat side of my 12-inch chef's knife on the skin side of a 4-inch piece of sliced cucumber and pressed down hard. Nothing happened; the cucumber simply pushed back.
I then brought the side of my fist down on the blade's flat side and, once again, nothing happened. No smashing; just resistant pressing.
I cursed. I sounded like the father in the movie “A Christmas Story” when he worked on the family's broken furnace.
I thought: “I'm never going to make smashed cucumbers that look like those pictures.”
I decided to bring in the heavy artillery and headed to my garage to get my rubber mallet. I returned to my kitchen and washed the business-end of my rubber mallet with hot, soapy water and then dried it with a clean paper towel.
I placed that same piece of cucumber cut side down on my cutting board and took a swing with my rubber mallet. It smashed the cucumber, all right. Yes it did. It also shot cucumber bits and seeds at me, the kitchen counter and my shirt.
I cursed again.
After cleaning my counter, floor and shirt I got a large piece of paper towel, folded it in half to give it some strength and covered the cucumber pieces with it. I moderated the power of this mallet blow and, lo and behold, a nicely smashed piece of cucumber emerged out from underneath the paper towel. Yay!
I proceeded to smash the remaining cucumber pieces with my clever smashing tool with its protective cover.
After salting and sugaring the cucumbers, an overnight draining produced nearly two-thirds of a cup of green water. I made the tahini-based dressing and a hot sauce-based side sauce and drizzled half the tahini dressing on the drained cucumbers and tossed them to coat.
I plated the dressed cucumbers, sprinkled some fresh sesame seeds and chopped parsley over them and spooned a little of the hot sauce mixture around the edge. My creation looked as good as any New York restaurant.
My tahini-dressed cucumbers had a natural sweet note to them and the hot sauce made the perfect, colorful counterpoint. At 131 calories, this was a definitely a winner; which is good thing, since it's also addictive.
No wonder smashed cucumbers had taken New York City by storm.
• Don Mauer welcomes questions, comments and recipe makeover requests. Write to him at don@ theleanwizard.com.