Grammar Moses: Let's get to the point. Enough with extraneous words
Count me among book lovers who much prefer Hemingway's simple, declarative sentences to Faulkner's circumlocutory style of writing.
I know I will get complaints from Faulkner fans. Yes, he wrote rich, languid descriptions of life in the South, but the man never met a run-on sentence he couldn't make longer.
His 1,288-word sentence in "Absalom, Absalom!" was named the longest in literature by the Guinness Book of World Records.
I don't think that is bragging material.
With that windup, it's time to get to the point. And that is: it's important to get to the point.
If you're reading this far into my column, thank you. Web metrics indicate that the vast majority of people reading online rarely spend 60 seconds with an article. I assume you spend more time with an actual newspaper in your hands, but I can't know that without sitting across from you at the breakfast table. And it would be pretty creepy if I were to watch you eat.
This should be a wake-up call to all writers who craft long anecdotal leads or back into the point of a story. But given the length of our stories, it's clear we haven't addressed that as well as we should.
In conversation, you can see your friend's growing impatience - the bobbing of the head, the rolling of the eyes, the tapping of the toe - as you fail to make your point fast enough.
Many of us pad out our sentence with filler words.
I hate to pick on business owners, but why do so many say, "I own my own business"?
Yeah, we get it. You own it AND it's yours. Even for those who aren't bragging, doubling up on own makes it sound like you are.
Why not, "I own a marketing business."? You convey more information with the same number of words.
"I will eat spaghetti until such time as I am full."
I am guilty of this, too. Not spaghetti binging, mind you, but throwing in extraneous words.
Perhaps on a subliminal level, we do this believing that we'll sound more erudite.
Removing such time as doesn't alter the meaning of the sentence a whit.
I heard someone on the radio this week say, "Because of the fact that ..."
You can remove the filler words of the fact that without changing the meaning of your sentence.
If you use fewer words to say the same thing, odds are you're speaking more directly and more understandably.
What's a flat adverb?
Reader Karin Wiltsey wrote in with a couple of her pet peeves. One of them you're sure to recognize.
"Not putting ly on adverbs. Example: She swam slowly, not she swam slow."
I had to consult the grammar oracles on this one, because I know there are exceptions to the rule. What I didn't know is what they're called - flat adverbs.
According to "Webster's Dictionary of English Usage," a flat adverb is one that has the same form as its related adjective. Fast is a good example.
A car is fast. But you don't drive it fastly. You drive it fast.
Flat adverbs have been a point of argument among grammarians for years.
Slow, bright and flat are a few other examples.
My suggestion: Try it both ways and let the verb dictate which makes the most sense to you.
For example, "I feel bad" suggests you are suffering an illness or emotional distress.
"I feel badly" could be interpreted as your sense of touch being on the fritz.
Common sense always should win out.
The final word
Arbiter or arbitrator?
These words have similar origins, but they're not synonyms.
An arbitrator, writes Bryan Garner in his "Modern American Usage," is someone chosen to settle differences between two parties.
An arbiter is a more general term defining someone with the power to decide disputes - a referee or a judge.
An arbiter can be self-appointed - an arbiter of good taste.
Hint: If it involves legal arbitration, go with arbitrator. If not, go with arbiter.
Write carefully!
• Jim Baumann is assistant vice president/managing editor of the Daily Herald. Write him at jbaumann@dailyherald.com. Put Grammar Moses in the subject line. You also can follow or friend Jim on social media at facebook.com/baumannjim.