Elgin man finds beloved wife's stolen ashes in yard, thinks thief returned them

Roger Stettner had all but lost hope he'd ever get back his beloved late wife's ashes - and then came the surprise of his life on Friday morning.

Stettner found the cherry wood box containing Donna's remains, which had been stolen June 6, near a patch of bluebell flowers while he was mowing his lawn.

Perhaps fittingly, the flowers had been planted by Donna, who died just a little over two years ago, he said.

"It's certainly wonderful," the 73-year-old Stettner said. "Unbelievable."

The theft gained media attention earlier this week, which likely prompted the culprit to return the box, he said.

"In the back of my mind I thought maybe this might happen, but not really," he said.

Stettner was visiting a son in California when the burglary took place. He also has a daughter in LaGrange Park and a son in Burlington.

The thief, or thieves, kicked in the front door and took only the box of ashes - possibly mistaking it for a box of jewelry - from a dresser in the master bedroom, Stettner said.

"I don't know how you'd think it was a jewelry box, but that's the only explanation," he said. The box is engraved with his wife's name and is adorned with a raised white cross.

Police Lt. Rick Ciganek, who leads Elgin's investigations division, called the resolution "fantastic." Police didn't have many leads regarding the burglary, an isolated incident in the neighborhood, he said.

"Anytime you have someone like this who's a true victim, we really try to work hard to solve it," Ciganek said. "It's a terrible thing that someone would take his wife's ashes, something that means so much to him."

Area Kiwanis clubs had put up a $1,000 reward for information leading to the recovery of the box of ashes. Stettner is a past president of the Golden K Kiwanis club in Elgin.

"He's a wonderful man," said Rick Poulton, board member of the Elgin Noon Kiwanis Club.

The Stettners were sweethearts at Elgin High School and wed right after Donna graduated, Roger Stettner said. They were married for 53 years before she died June 26, 2013.

"We were together for a long, long time," he said. "We were married so young that we kind of grew up with each other."

Donna focused on raising their three children while Stettner worked for Eby-Brown for 41 years. Later, she worked for a credit card company and in a school cafeteria within Elgin Area School District U-46, but she gave that up due to health issues stemming from inherited heart disease, Stettner said.

Stettner said the theft and ensuing ordeal was very difficult, almost igniting his grieving process all over again.

He and Donna had made a pact that whoever died first would be cremated. Then the surviving spouse would keep the ashes in the house until both could be cremated and laid to rest, side by side, at Bluff City Cemetery in Elgin, he said.

"We did everything together," he said. "That's part of the reason the ashes are here."