Burning calories, building friendships at Fittest Loser boot camp

I wish that calories could scream.

Burning them off would make my exercise routine much more enjoyable.

Instead, I only hear my heart pounding in my chest. Somewhere off in the distance, a voice demands that I drop to the floor for another burpee. At the point of exhaustion, I wonder if anybody has ever died by drowning in their own sweat.

If I could provide at least one example of such a drowning, perhaps I could convince my boot camp instructor to give me a little break.

No such luck.

So I drop into a squat position again, with my hands on the ground, kick my feet back, return to squat position and jump up from it. I'm desperately trying to forget that they expect me to jump my way through three sets, at 45 burpees each.

Just as I'm about to faint, I hear something about a break. But my hopeful smile quickly turns into a snarl when I discover what this means.

Apparently, my so-called “break” means that I'm allowed to step outside and run around the building between my sets — to give my achy arms and legs a breather.

OK, that's definitely not the sort of break I had in mind. But playing the obedient soldier, I do it without question and remind myself that the real workout starts when my body wants to quit — though I feel like this already happened 40-something burpees ago.

I think back to one of my first days at boot camp when the instructor mentioned the term “burpee.” Not being accustomed to bodybuilding terminology, I could have sworn he said something about a “slurpee.”

Again, no such luck.

Push Fitness in Schaumburg does not serve slurpees. In the past eight weeks of the Fittest Loser Challenge, co-organized by the Daily Herald and Push Fitness, I've added a number of new fitness terms into my vocabulary — especially at boot camp.

Kettle bell swings, rope slams and lunges are no longer abstract terms. I also know how to work with a “wall ball” and conduct a somewhat proper “step up.” When I hear someone say “kettle bell snatch,” I don't associate it with a dirty word anymore.

I still get confused about the difference between a “squat to press” and a “thruster,” but I'm sure someone will explain it to me again very soon — and probably make me do three sets of each one to make me remember.

I've also discovered that when my instructor talks about caterpillars and inchworms, he's not referring to insects. Still, I doubt that insects struggle through their daily movements like when I'm mimicking their moves in this high intensity workout named in their honor.

For those who have never experienced it, boot camp is definitely a fast-paced, intensive and rigorous exercise program. Contestants in the Fittest Loser Challenge — along with myself — are required to attend boot camp each Saturday morning for the duration of the 12-week program (during the week, we workout individually with our personal trainers at Push Fitness).

Personally, I enjoy the fast-paced environment. Usually, there's always some new exercise to learn or a new spin on an old “favorite.” We have rotating instructors so every week is a bit different.

Some weeks are more challenging than others. But I enjoy them all. That's not to say that I don't dread certain activities. I wish I could make my head spin 360 degrees like that little girl in The Exorcist film. Maybe that would scare the boot camp instructors away from making me do burpees.

Another great thing about boot camp is the camaraderie among the people in our group. As a reporter, I'm rarely a part of the story. But this is different. While I'm not a contestant, I'm going through the same types of changes and challenges as they are.

There's an unspoken bond that's formed between everyone in the group. I look forward to seeing the contestants each week. It's also pretty amazing to witness how they've changed since the first time I saw them.

My only complaint about boot camp is the early hour. Since I've never been a morning person, I'm painfully aware that most of the country is still asleep when I wake up on Saturdays.

My alarm starts blaring at 4:15 a.m. I smack the snooze button a few times and crawl out of bed about 10 to 15 minutes later. I need some time to do my makeup (call me crazy) and then I make myself a light breakfast and a cup of coffee to go. Around 5:15 a.m., I'm in the car and on my way to Push Fitness. I turn my car stereo to full blast and imagine all the calories I'm going to kill that day — even if I can't hear their screams.

By the numbers

<span class="fact box text bold">Starting weight:</span> 163 <span class="fact box text bold">Current weight: </span>158 <span class="fact box text bold">Total weight lost:</span> 5 pounds, 3.1 percent