Imrem: It's mediocre Bucks vs. medical mystery Bulls

Thank goodness for the Milwaukee Bucks.

In a world of uncertainty - also known as Derrick Rose - the Bucks can be depended upon to be what they are.

The Bucks are 41-41 mediocre. We know they're mediocre. They know they're mediocre. The Bulls know they're mediocre.

Milwaukee's mediocrity is about all that's certain as the Bulls begin their postseason run against the Bucks tonight in the United Center.

After six months and 82 games, the Bulls remain a 50-32 medical mystery. So what we have here is a mediocre Milwaukee vs. a medical mystery.

The Bulls were 25-10 soon after New Year's Day. They went 25-22 the rest of the season.

So, what are the Bulls? Are they the 15-over-. 500 team after 35 games? Or are they the 3-over-. 500 team over the next 47 games?

Depends on the Bulls' hospital charts, of course.

They should dispatch the Bucks in relatively easy fashion if they're healthy, but they're rarely healthy.

Rose, who sat out the second half of Wednesday's regular-season finale, might trip over the sideline stripe during warm-ups and tear what's left of his knees.

Joakim Noah, whose body must feel like the current state of the Wrigley Field blown-up bleachers, might contract a career-threatening head cold.

Taj Gibson, Jimmy Butler or Mike Dunleavy might turn up in traction at any minute. Nikola Mirotic? He has been healthy, which makes him due to call 9-1-1. Pau Gasol? He's a 34-year-old breakdown waiting to happen.

All that would be pessimistic if it weren't true.

So, you see, the mediocre Bucks have a chance to upset the Bulls as long as there isn't a universal cure for everything from injuries to accidents to illnesses.

"We have to make the best of our circumstances," head coach Tom Thibodeau said, "whatever they might be."

Because of the Bulls' circumstances being perpetually precarious, they looked like Mona Lisa in the Louvre on some nights and Mona Lipschitz from Bridgeport on other nights.

Thibodeau never knew whether Rose - both a recovering surgical patient and recovering league MVP - would be ready, willing and able to play.

Nobody can be sure what the Bulls will be as they embark upon the NBA's only meaningful time of the year.

A player can hobble around the court on crutches during the rest of the season, but he better be healthy for the playoffs.

Good luck with that, huh, Bulls' fans?

The Bulls appear to be healthier than normal but not really healthy. If they have to revert to another Plan - D, E, Z or something from an alien alphabet - the Bucks have a shot.

"We have to hit the ground running," Thibodeau said, "so we'll see."

Despite the Bulls' medical condition, oddsmaker Bovada ranks their chances to win the NBA title behind only Cleveland, Golden State and San Antonio.

Charles Barkley was a guest on ESPN radio's "Mike and Mike" morning show the other day and the question wasn't how the Bucks-Bulls series would go.

Barkley was asked, "How much chance do you give Chicago to beat Cleveland?"

Yes, the Bulls already are penciled into the second round against the Cavs. Thank goodness, indeed, for the Bucks being the Bucks.

Except that the Bulls' uncertain health means that they could be challenged by the certainty that is Milwaukee's mediocrity.

mimrem@dailyherald.com