Imrem: Cubs can flush that apology

So that's it? … An apology? … All the Cubs could come up with was “we failed?”

I read the club's statement on the Opening Night restroom debacle and there was nothing about compensating the 35,055 fans who attended the game.

Maybe I missed something here. Or maybe the Cubs are waiting for a crafty lawyer to file a class action suit.

In this case the Cubs failed to mind their Pees and Ques, so to speak, and all they saw fit to do for the offended was issue an apology.

As you know by now, Wrigley Field had a plumbing problem. Some fans missed a couple of innings while standing for an hour in long lines at the few serviceable restrooms.

Look, stuff happens. Restrooms flood in 101-year-old ballparks. The team can be excused for this.

But the Cubs should do more than apologize.

With Wrigley Field under construction, the Cubs could have anticipated trouble and just in case provided a measure of, uh, relief by installing portable units, as they prefer to call temporary potties.

But they didn't. They simply admitted their error, issued an apology and are moving on.

So, seriously, that's it? … An apology? … Nothing more?

Fans should be able to exchange their ticket stubs for a free or discounted ticket to an upcoming game.

If that's logistically impossible, the Cubs could offer each fan a Kris Bryant bobblehead or Addison Russell T-shirt.

Reports this week revealed that the average ticket to a major-league game costs $29. Good luck with that, Cubs fans. The average in Wrigley Field is $45, third highest in baseball.

Add parking, beer, soft drinks, hot dogs and a couple of caps for junior and sis and the cost for a family of four to attend a Cubs game also is third highest at $300.

At that number it's a little more expensive and annoying than not finding your newspaper in the driveway on any given morning.

Still, there is no shortage of customers eager to ante up to see their beloved Cubs even during a bad century or two.

But this restroom thing is something else, considering that over the years every longtime Cubs fan should have been rewarded with a private bathroom in his or her very own executive suite.

Instead he or she gets a ballpark plumbing problem that evolves into his or her personal plumbing crisis.

For this, an apology? … Nothing more? … Just an apology?

For some fans one game is all they can afford in a season. The experience should be memorable. OK, actually, this one was. If only it were pleasurable, too.

Not much is more unpleasant than going to a baseball game and having bladder issues break out. It isn't an inconvenience, it's a hardship.

If a fan is going to drink one or two or more of those overpriced ballpark beers, he or she should at least have somewhere decent to recycle it.

The oversight in customer relations is especially odd considering that Cubs chairman Tom Ricketts makes it a point to roam Wrigley Field and meet Cubs fans.

In this case, however, the situation screams out for more than a smile, handshake and “I'm sorry.”

A small material gesture would be nice. At least give every kid under the age of 12 a complimentary cotton candy.

Instead only an apology? … Plus a confession? … For an incident that isn't even worthy of toilet humor because it's so uncomfortable?

Oh, well, at least the Cubs haven't announced yet how much they'll charge to use the “portable units” being installed for future games.

Or did I miss that, too?

mimrem@dailyherald.com