Son's illiness causes Maryland coach Frese to 'enjoy the moment'
There might not be a month on the calendar that college basketball coaches look forward to more than March, and its sweet madness.
Brenda Frese, the head women's coach at Maryland, is certainly a big fan of this time of year. She led the Terrapins to the NCAA national title in 2006.
This season, Maryland - a No. 1 seed and Big Ten champion - is alive and still shooting after the Terrapins beat Duke 65-55 in the Spokane regional semifinals Saturday, Maryland will play either Gonzaga or Tennessee on Monday with a trip to the Final Four at stake.
Despite all of this ongoing success this season, March doesn't hold a candle to the month of May for Frese.
No matter what happens in the NCAA Tournament, it is a doctor's report Frese will get at the end of May that could make everything right in her world.
Frese is hoping that report will deem her 7-year-old son Tyler officially cancer-free.
"He was diagnosed with leukemia when he was 2½," said Frese, who also has twin boys Tyler and Markus. "He had 3½ years with a port in his chest and treatment every day (for 39 straight months). But now he's on the back end of it, and someday, I'm hoping that all of this will be a faint memory for him. We're so close to this whole five-year ordeal of treatment and doctor visits being over. You can kind of see that light at the end of the tunnel."
The twins, just as blond and as fair as their mother, make Frese light up. She says they have changed her as a person, and as a coach.
"When you become a parent, and any time you go through an experience like this, it has to change you," Frese said. "For me, it's given me a great perspective and it's allowed me to slow down. I was always someone who maybe didn't enjoy the now as much because I was always looking out ahead. I definitely take more time to enjoy the moment."
Slowing down isn't always easy for Frese. Neither is managing a Top 10 program, a household and two active boys all at once. She is quick to acknowledge that she couldn't do it by herself.
Her husband Mark Thomas quit his career in television to be a stay-at-home dad.
"I always say it takes a team to be successful on the court, and it does off the court as well," Frese said. "I'm really fortunate to be able to have such a phenomenal team at home, when you talk about my husband as well as my in-laws and what they've been able to do through all the treatments and doctor visits and take the primary care of all of it. Then, when you have a support staff that makes your job easier at work, it all works together."
Some working mothers aren't as fortunate, and struggle to reach the professional heights they dream of, whether it be in coaching or any other profession. But coaching has its own demands - and only six of 14 Big Ten head coaches are mothers.
"I don't think you could (be a mom in this business) if you didn't have the support system. I think that is what drives some women out of the business," Frese said. "I'm really fortunate. If you don't have that network, it would be really, really difficult. If you have great people around you, it helps to make it work."
Frese puts her boys in the same environment, around positive people, such as the young women she meticulously recruits. Tyler and Markus frequently attend practice, as well as most home and some road games.
"It's pretty awesome to have your kids grow up in a sports environment where you have phenomenal role models," Frese said.
pbabcock@dailyherald.com
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