Imrem: Just wait for Bears to cry Wolf

Let's take an overview of the Bears' search for a general manager and head coach.

Yikes!

The first impression is that the Bears haven't done anything wrong yet, but there's still plenty of time to mess up.

(The “Yikes!” was just a reflex response based on history and principle.)

The second impression is that if the Bears are lucky, at some time in the next couple of years Eliot Wolf will become their general manager.

More about that later.

For now, the Bears don't inspire anyone to believe that they will find the next genius GM and guru coach.

If the Bears put together their Mount Rushmore of candidates, it likely would include either three or five names.

A short list of three might include presidents George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and Weird Al Yankovic.

Guess which one would get the job.

OK, you already know because the last coaching search came down to Bruce Arians, Darrell Bevell and Marc Trestman with the winner being … Weird Marc Trestman!

The best hope now is that the Bears don't end up with Bernie Madoff as GM and the Kardashians as a college of coaches.

We might as well assume that the Bears will come up with another tandem as wacky as “2 Broke Girls.”

There's a good chance that George McCaskey and Ted Phillips will drive respected consultant Ernie Accorsi crazy before he can drive them toward the right hires.

Sad to say, we might as well surrender on this search and look ahead a couple of years to when another new GM and coach will be necessary.

Maybe by that time the Bears will be smart enough to emulate the smartest sports franchise in town.

The Bulls? No, they're only getting close. The Cubs and White Sox? No, they're still trying to get close to the Bulls? The Blackhawks? Bingo!

That's asking a lot of the Bears because currently their operation is about as close to the Blackhawks' as the new “Annie” is to the old “Annie.”

It's a good thing that we're talking a couple of years from now because my plan — the one the Bears need — isn't ready to be set in motion yet.

Think of the Hawks thriving with Stan Bowman as general manager and his father, Scotty, as a muse in the front office.

Stan Bowman might have been a tad before his time when named GM in 2009 at 36, but it helped to have his hockey-legend father to lean on.

Eliot Wolf is the son of Ron Wolf, who built Green Bay into a Super Bowl winner. Eliot is 32 and was promoted last week to be the Packers' director of player personnel.

Peter King of Sports Illustrated's MMQB has written of Eliot Wolf, “I expect he'll be running his own team within two years — if he chooses to leave the Green Bay womb.”

Two years, huh? Eliot Wolf will be 34, nearly the age at which Stan Bowman became a GM, and he could have father Ron around the way father Scotty was around.

Tuesday, the Eagles requested permission to interview Eliot Wolf for their GM vacancy, though head coach Chip Kelly still would have most of the personnel power.

This is just me, but I would consider bringing both the Wolfs to Lake Forest right now and suffering through Eliot's maturing process.

The difference, of course, is that Stan Bowman inherited a championship core of players and Wolf would have to build the Bears from the bottom up.

In 2017, after the Bears' latest new guys fail, Eliot Wolf will be more emotionally braced to deal with the Bears' institutional dysfunction.

mimrem@dailyherald.com