Losing a spouse changes everything

Thank you for your Dec. 21 editorial titled "The holiday season for those in grief." My husband, partner and life companion, Jeff Bruner, died this past June following a brief battle with pancreatic cancer. As a recent widow (I still have trouble using the word to refer to myself), I found your comments spot on.

When you lose your spouse, you lose your way of life. Nothing, from the mundane daily chores to plans for the future, is the same. I've spent the last six months relearning how to use a screwdriver along with trying to cobble together a vision as a single person.

Now, during the holiday season, when we each had a role to play and social get-togethers are the norm, being alone is especially hard. Things that seem trivial, like signing gift tags with my name only, are often the most difficult. Jeff would have edited this letter for me, ensuring its perfection. Today I'm rereading it over and over to make sure it's OK.

I can't tell you how important and meaningful the calls and visits from friends, neighbors and family have become. The calls remind me that, although my life has changed, I'm not alone.

Your third-person editorial eloquently stated the feelings and emotions I've just tried to describe in the first person. It doesn't matter whether you publish this letter or not. I just wanted to express my appreciation and let you know that you got it right.

Dale Draznin

Mount Prospect