If Phil Emery likes you, he really, really likes you.
And even if he doesn't, or you're not in the plans for next year, you'd still walk away feeling good about yourself after hearing him talk Thursday.
Pretty impressive trait.
Check the resume:
He's gotta be an Up with People alum, right?
That was some news conference -- well, at least the opening half-hour when the Bears' GM came out firing on all cylinders.
Tim Jennings has a heck of a season and Matt Slauson puts together a quietly effective year and both are rewarded with four-year contracts.
Sadly, they will be little more than footnotes on this historic day for Jay Cutler and the Bears.
"Shea's good enough, he's smart enough, and, doggone it, people like him."
Yeah, not really.
Cutler: 7 years, $126 million.
Alfonso Soriano: 8 years, $136 million.
How in the world did Cutler's signing not leak out?
That's almost unheard of.
Paying attention, Theo?
One or both safeties, Peanut, Peppers, Podlesh and perhaps Mel Tucker are goners.
No question who I'd miss most: Peanut.
Peppers like Paulie?
What if the Bears brought back Peppers in the football equivalent of Paul Konerko's role, with a similar percentage of salary reduction?
Not gonna happen, is it?
How many Bears from this season will be Bucs next season?
That Jim Schwartz was fired.
He's to the Lions what Jerry Burns was to the Vikings.
You haven't thought about Jerry Burns in awhile, have you?
In other news:
Luol Deng returned to the lineup and scored a team-high 16 points as the Bulls fell to … yeah, I'm sorry, I just can't go on with this.
It's now Hour 19 and Emery has switched topics to the Dick York/Dick Sargent debate.
Next on the agenda:
Why Granville Waiters was a quality backup, and what really caused the demise of One-Hour Martinizing.
I feel bad for any reporters at Halas Hall who were debating whether or not to use the washroom before Thursday's PhilFest … but opted not to.
The Winter Classic from the Big House got a 2.9 overnight rating, tying it with the 2009 edition at Wrigley Field.
Don't look now:
But the Wolves have won five of their last six games.
It was only a matter of time before John Anderson got them rolling.
The voice equation:
John Groce = "Ferrall On The Bench."
Only 51 days until the Daytona 500.
Check, check two:
Alright, any questions for Matt Slauson?