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What’s it like to live with hoarder parents? In Kimberly Rae Miller’s memoir, “Coming Clean,” the writer doesn’t minimize the destruction the disorder causes families. But she uses her own experience to paint a much more compassionate and nuanced portrait of the illness than is usually shown on reality TV shows like “Hoarders.” Growing up, only child Miller knew her family was different. Their house was covered with paper and broken or disused objects. Couches, floors, tables and most other surfaces — eventually whole rooms — were lost to junk. The mess causes constant fighting within the family and a constant fear of being discovered.