March for Babies: Sarah Schrandt, St. Charles
It was supposed to be one of the best days of my life … instead, it was the worst.
My daughter was scheduled to arrive via C-section on March 4, 2010. I went to the hospital the day before with contractions. I went by myself because my husband stayed home with our then-2-year-old daughter. I was so excited that we might be able to meet our new little one a day early. I remember hopping (probably more like plopping) onto the hospital bed. I was thrilled to be there and couldn’t wait to hold my baby.
The nurse ran the heartbeat doppler over my enormous full-term belly. She couldn’t find a heartbeat. That is the first time I even considered that something could be wrong. My entire pregnancy was normal. There was no sign of anything abnormal or that there may be something wrong. The nurses and doctor came in to be with me and they brought in an ultrasound machine and technician.
I vividly remember seeing my baby’s beautiful head on the screen. Her tiny little hand was up by her head and I said to myself in a whisper, “Please move your hand, please just move your hand.” She didn’t move her hand. The doctor confirmed the unimaginable. My baby had died.
Hours later I held my perfect baby girl, Caitlin Marie. She was born still due to a knot in her umbilical cord. The cord was wrapped around her waist. From my final appointment with my doctor on the Friday before, until that Wednesday she had twisted in the knotted cord too tightly. My beautiful baby just couldn’t fight any more.
The loss of a child is unbearable, but the support from family and friends in unbreakable. I walk in the March of Dimes’ March for Babies to always remember my sweet Caitlin Marie. I knew when she passed that I needed to do something — help others, and find a way to keep her a part of our life.
Three weeks after Caitlin passed, I signed up for the March for Babies. I have never been a part of so much selflessness, love and support in all my life. My family and friends have been with me since the second that my entire life changed. And it truly means the world to me.
I feel so strongly about helping other babies and their families. My heart breaks for the babies fighting to live. Their tiny, fragile features that are so new to the world, and they enter it fighting. I think my Caitlin fought so hard to meet us face to face, but it was just too much.
I am going to try my hardest to give other babies the chance to find out how wonderful it all can be — love, family, friends. It is absolutely worth the fight!