Cast can't rescue Metropolis' crime farce
During the opening performance of Scott Woldman's world premiere farce “10 Ways to Kill Your Husband,” two elderly ladies seated in front of me at the Metropolis Performing Arts Centre in Arlington Heights were intermittently talking throughout the show.
Normally I would try to shush noisy theatergoers, but these women were voicing many of my own misgivings about this frustrating farce by Metropolis' resident playwright.
For instance, near the end of the play a hired assassin seemingly came back to life after being shot at and earlier falling out the window of a tall building. That's when one woman loudly said to the other, “Oh, I thought he was dead.”
It's moments like this that make it clear that “10 Ways to Kill Your Husband” is in no way a worthy successor to Woldman's 2011 Metropolis play “The Butler Didn't,” and even that show was a so-so effort at creating a knockabout farce.
“10 Ways to Kill Your Husband” focuses on a nasty and adulterous greeting card company owner named Steve Lumpkin (Jack Birdwell), who plans on selling the business before divorcing his co-executive wife, Cheryl (Robin Hughes), and running off with the profits and his dimwitted mistress Michelle (Carrie Weis).
Of course complications ensue when Cheryl gets wind of her husband's plans, driving her and a co-worker, a confidence-challenged Kenneth Jenkins (Michael Woods), to both snap and start plotting Steve's murder. But along the way, other annoying characters in and around the office (played by Alex Suha, Laural Reinhart and Daniel Dvorkin in multiple roles) become at risk of getting in the way of Cheryl and Kenneth's impulsive and deadly actions.
For a farce with such a high body count, “10 Ways to Kill Your Husband” is not as darkly comic as it should be. Plus, we don't really get a full “10 Ways” to bump off Mr. Lumpkin, although there are a few.
And might I ask Woldman about a few of his play's many other loopholes of logic?
Wouldn't a hired assassin want to meet with his client to get a proper ID of the intended victim before bumping the guy off? Why would a professional killer leave his fingerprints on a remote control and then impulsively dance a gyrating solo to Marvin Gaye's “Let's Get It On”?
And what about that seemingly happy ending? Unless the police officers are blithering idiots who have never seen a TV cop drama, let alone attended the police academy, wouldn't they question: a. the many different fingerprints on the crossbow? b. the source and caliber of the fired bullets? And c. the poison in the bloodstream of one of the corpses?
Despite being saddled with such a poorly structured script, the cast and crew of “10 Ways to Kill Your Husband” come off fairly well, with some actors displaying fine comic timing and physical antics that actually garner a few laughs.
Both Woods and Weis come up with great comic ways to keep their characters silently occupied while the play's dodgy dialogue is being exchanged elsewhere. Wood's neat-freak antics for Kenneth are lots of fun (showing just how underutilized he is here after his very funny turn in Metropolis' “The Complete History of America Abridged”), while the caricatured behavior of Weis' Michelle (or her alias as the incompetent Russian receptionist “Sasha Russianmanov”) plays up stereotypes of stupid blondes. Also very praiseworthy is the long-limbed Alex Suha in a number of roles ranging from the sleek assassin in all black to the smarmy bike messenger in spandex shorts.
Under normal circumstances, director Lauren Rawitz should come in for some criticism by pulling focus away from the dialogue with Wood and Weis' moments of largely silent comedy. But when what's being said is so rudimentary, it's best to go with guaranteed laughs where you can find them.
“10 Ways to Kill Your Husband”
★ ½
<b>Location:</b> Metropolis Performing Arts Centre, 111 W. Campbell St., Arlington Heights, (847) 577-2121 or <a href="http://metropolisarts.com">metropolisarts.com</a>
<b>Showtimes:</b> 7:30 p.m. Thursday, 8 p.m. Friday, 7 p.m. Saturday (no shows Saturday, March 17), 3 p.m. Sunday; through April 15
<b>Running time:</b> About two hours with one 15-minute intermission
<b>Tickets:</b> $39-$43
<b>Parking:</b> Nearby garage and street parking
<b>Rating:</b> Some mild adulterous sexuality and accidental murders