Carlos Zambrano offers mea culpa on 'retirement'

Give ubiquitous media personality David Kaplan credit.

No one in the Chicago media has attacked Carlos Zambrano with more gusto — sometimes viciously so — than Kaplan.

But it was to Kaplan whom Zambrano turned Monday as he gave his first interview since leaving the Cubs on Friday night and being put on the disqualified list by the club. The players association filed a grievance against the Cubs on Monday.

During an interview with Kaplan on Comcast SportsNet Chicago, Zambrano said he did voice a desire to retire but did so out of frustration. He also said he would like to pitch for the Cubs again.

I'll buy the first part. As for the second part, I don't see Zambrano pitching for the Cubs again even if he wins his grievance, which seems a good possibility.

Since coming up to the Cubs 10 years ago, Zambrano has been on almost every list: disabled, suspended, restricted and now, disqualified.

His latest actions seem to have put him on general manager Jim Hendry's “get-him-out-of-here” list.

You know the story. Zambrano gave up eight runs in 4⅓ innings, getting ejected after he threw two inside pitches at the Braves' Chipper Jones. After the game, Zambrano was nowhere to be found, and his locker had been cleared out.

“I did want to retire,” Zambrano admitted to Kaplan. “I feel bad with myself, not with the Cubs, not with the organization. I feel bad with me, with the performance, with what I am doing or was doing in the season.

“I did say I wanted to quit. I did say that Friday night. I was so frustrated that that never should have come out of my mouth. I said it. Through frustration I did say that word.”

Zambrano said he received messages of support from former Cubs Sammy Sosa and Candy Maldonado and from Jason Giambi, with whom Zambrano has never played. He said he had heard from current teammates Marlon Byrd, Alfonso Soriano and Carlos Pena, “but nobody else.”

Soriano reportedly confronted Zambrano in the clubhouse after Zambrano left the game. Zambrano told Kaplan there was nothing nasty about the exchange.

“No no, no, he came to me so nice,” Zambrano said. “Alfonso is a great person. He came to me and said what I did was wrong trying to hit Chipper.”

Zambrano denied trying to hit Jones, saying he threw cutters and not fastballs.

As far as coming back to the Cubs, Zambrano said he'd like to do that.

“Of course, man,” he said. “Hey, the Cubs have been to me like my family. The organization is my family. I've seen people come and go, and I'm still there. Of course, I want to keep pitching for the Cubs.”

Hendry sounded ready to move on Friday. It was Hendry who sent Zambrano to anger-management counseling last year. In one interesting part of the interview with Kaplan, Zambrano voiced disagreement with Hendry's latest action.

“This one, it makes me sad,” he said. “I don't have anything to say about Jim. Jim is a great person. What I have to say about discipline, like this one, last year was good, but this one, I really don't understand.

“If the Cubs welcome me, I'll be with the team again. If they don't ... I'll have to play for somebody else. From the bottom of my heart, I will be a Cubbie forever. I thank the Cubs and thank everybody who supported me in the Cubs organization. Just move on.”