Crime victims’ families find emotional, legal support

Carol Theis went to a grief counselor after she lost her 27-year-old son, Matthew, in a drug-induced homicide in 2006.

But the St. Charles mom left feeling “flat” as the counselor failed to fully understand her emotions or help her deal with the legal process in which two men would be prosecuted and sent to prison for her son’s death.

Then Theis learned about a homicide support group operated out of the Kane County state’s attorney’s office.

In it, friends and family members of those killed in violent crimes meet every other month for comfort, to cry or vent their anger.

“You see things on TV and you never think it’s going to be you,” said Theis, who has attended the group for more than four years. “We feel safe there. No one judges us.”

A key for the group is that an assistant state’s attorney also attends the meetings to answer questions about the legal process, such as how much time the defendants will serve in prison and what to expect at certain court hearings.

“It’s not normal grief counseling,” said Tim Brown, director of the Kane County Diagnostic Center. “This is a very specialized integration of grief (counseling) and the law that you really can’t get anywhere else.”

Theis said being able to lean on and form bonds with other families that have lost loved ones through violent crimes is immeasurable and the program, which began in 1994, has been a “godsend.”

“I’m still learning every time I come,” Theis said, noting that she wrote down memories of her son on pieces of scrap paper for months in preparation for a victim’s impact statement given at a sentencing hearing. “I wanted them to know who my son was, not what the defense made him out to be.”

Kane and Cook are the only counties in the suburbs that offer such a support service. The program meets at 7 p.m. on the last Tuesday of every other month at the Kane County Judicial Center, 37W777 Route 38, St. Charles. The next meeting is in May.

For more information, call Judy Bland, Kane County Director of Victim Rights, at (630) 232-3500.