Scarecrow trail a hoot at Morton Arboretum

Memo to all crows:

You might want to avoid Meadow Lake at the Morton Arboretum for the next week or so.

Oh, sure, you can flap your wings and caw all you like in other areas of the woody plant museum in Lisle, but the area outside the Visitor Center is just gonna ruffle your feathers and get your beaks bent out of shape.

First, there are all those people the arboretum's Fall Color Festival always attracts at this time of year. You know the ones: walking, talking, laughing and generally acting the way happy humans act. Disgusting.

But here's what's worse, Mr. and Mrs. Bird Brain: The area around the lake is just crawling with scarecrows 43 of them. And you know and I know that scarecrows and avians get along like Republicans and Democrats in the week before an election, or maybe Bill O'Reilly and Whoopi Goldberg on the set of a TV show.

So, anyway, I wanted to warn you about the arboretum's seventh annual Scarecrow Trail that continues from 7 a.m. to sunset every day through the end of October at 4100 Route 53.

Organizers of the event invited area Girl Scout troops to design and build all sorts of nature-themed scarecrows and put them out for the amusement of people and the ever-loving terror of winged wonders.

Humans can cast ballots for their favorites, and the troop that gets the most votes wins a guided overnight adventure at the arboretum. The second-place troop wins a free Scout badge tour.

Misguided crows, of course, get a free coronary. That's a little bird humor, but don't say we didn't warn you.

Of course the arboretum people deny their display is anti-crow. Because I am a hard-hitting investigative reporter who follows all the canons and ethics of investigative hard-hitting journalism, I gave their spokeswoman, Gina Tedesco, a chance to respond.

And Tedesco, who follows the canons of all P.R. people which means she can make a lowly sparrow sound like a soaring eagle replied with this:

“Actually, with so many fun things for kids and parents to do, we want to be sure the pro-crow lobby doesn't get on our case about not giving crows equal time. So we thought the crows might enjoy taking the ‘dare' of swooping down to see these scarecrows.”

Which is kind of like suggesting it would be fun for a cutthroat trout to take a little swim at a grizzly bear convention but, hey, what do you expect from a public relations department?

The bottom line is this: Remember back when you were studying famous birds and you came across that creepy Edgar Allan Poe story? Well that raven wasn't trying to scare anybody, he was just talking about the experience he had when he landed in a field of scarecrows, maybe like the ones at the arboretum.

Nevermore, he said.

And he wasn't kidding.

If you go

What: Seventh annual Scarecrow Trail

When: 7 a.m. to sunset daily through the end of October

Where: The Morton Arboretum, 4100 Route 53, Lisle

Cost: Free with admission price

Info: mortonarb.org